Feel my pulse and tell me what it reads.

Living Healthy is Key

2012-02-21T16:17:00.001+01:00

And finally a new week begins. We are back to normal programming! Last week was all sorts; ‘Valentine’s Day’ week must be the most pretentious all through the year! People going beyond their means to surprise/please their lover/spouse/friend with benefit.

While I have nothing against those who believe in idolising the day and concept, I respect those who are truly in love and show it irrespective of season! And by show it, I mean, respect, care for, cater to and stay faithful to their partners.

That being said, I still look forward to the babies that’ll arrive between October and December; I’ll be ready with my knowing look for the parents. You can be sure they are products of Occupy Nigeria stay home and valentine’s week!

Moving on...

Now that the lover’s day celebrations have winded up and the chocolate/cake boxes are empty, how many of you have made plans to get yourselves checked for the first quarter? No one? *smh*

It’s more likely that people worry about the possibility of adding one dress size or more after all the merriment without even taking into consideration the effect on their health. It’s no longer news that people who are seemingly happy and fit can collapse during the least stressful activity and consequently pass on, why then do we pay more attention to our fashion statement and bank statement while our health takes the back bench?

When last did you get yourself examined? Blood pressure, blood sugar, dental checks, and for you in Nigeria, malaria, typhoid? Do you conclude you’re fit just because you multitask; combining work, education and home making? Do you even know that your exercise regime, no matter how strictly you adhere to it doesn’t preclude you from certain ailments?

Ladies, have you ever done a Mammography? Or do you find such process intrusive to your privacy? In that case do you do the monthly physical examination? Do you know that exercising may help you keep in shape; but it doesn’t reduce your blood sugar level?

Medical doctors advice that certain tests be taken quarterly, half yearly and others yearly from a particular age. They say it’s important to also identify ailments that are hereditary in one’s family and begin to guide against them early. An example of such is diabetes and hypertension.

If there’s any ailment one or more relations from the generation(s) before you are battling, it would only be wise to have yourself checked. You may come out with a clean bill of health and then embark on the journey of prevention; if not, you’re better off knowing and managing it before it gets out of hand.

Cost is one major reason people shy away from these tests, however, they really do not cost an arm and a leg. Most companies have HMO plans for their employees; don’t just decorate your wallet/purse with the card. Plan a visit to the hospital, get checked, ask questions and start living healthy.

Go a step further, make friends with doctors (they are everywhere, even on twitter), eat right, exercise and do not forget, when it comes to your life and health, all the wealth you’re working so hard to amass would mean nothing if you drop dead or become incapacitated.

WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR WELL BEING, DO NOT COMPROMISE!

N.B: if you’re a medical practitioner or dietician and you’ll like to do a guest post on healthy living, please send an email to the.pet.projects@gmail.com

Certainly, Its Over!

2012-02-09T14:34:00.000+01:00

Can someone please get me an application that’ll scribble down my thoughts through the day so I can posts frequently? Please...

There’s always a new idea for a blog post every now and then, but I’m probably in some meeting, walking through the crowded streets of Lagos Island or half asleep. The workload during the day is overwhelming I hardly have time to eat let alone prepare a proper post; I know this is bad blogging behaviour but what do I do?

My day starts as early as my eyelids open – put that somewhere between 4am and the next o’clock – and between that time and 10.30pm, I’m involved in one energy sapping or mentally tasking activity or the other.

I want to stop blogging all together because I’m not sure this workload is going anywhere until at least August next year but I love it here; so again I ask, what should I do?

In the midst of all this I realise the reason this is proving tough is because of the OVER syndrome. Once upon a time, I was in a group discussing SWOT analysis. I mentioned that my weakness was the perfectionist syndrome and everyone practically laughed and ‘commended’ me. I didn’t think too seriously of it until a friend recently mentioned it. For me, it’s okay to ignore the comments of random people but when someone who should know you a little more points out a trait – in this case a flaw, then work must be done.

It is important to be thorough/detailed/meticulous at work and in daily decision making, but when the word ‘OVER’ (overanalyse, over scrutinize etc) shows up too many times, there may be trouble. While I do not have problems with meeting deadlines and producing excellent results, I am almost never satisfied with the face value of anything. I always want to think decisions through over and again, creating many more options than needed.

A clear example is the previous paragraph, one of the words in red would have sufficed, but my brain thought up about 5, I ended up typing those 3 just so you see what I mean. The end result is a body that never gets enough rest because its operating system (the brain) is constantly multitasking!

Going forward, I plan not to ‘over – anything’... well, as long as it’s not a life-changing/destiny-altering decision; I can’t jump right in just like that or what do you think?

Note: SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.

No Rain on My Parade!

2012-01-31T16:48:00.000+01:00

Hi Lovelies,

It’s the last day of the first month of 2012, Happy New Year!!!

Yes, I know I’ve been MIA for quite awhile, there has been so many issues to deal with within every 24hours – work, state of the economy (Nigeria), traffic, personal development programme etc. I haven’t had the time to catch up with you all – my apologies.

This week started on a bright note for me, hope rising in many directions, I’m just happy for where my life is heading right now, no one, not even the rogue who made away with my phone this morning can rain on my parade! My contacts, my notes, bookmarks, devotional articles, semi-finished blog posts etc all gone.

My colleague says I’m too calm for someone who was robbed; what should I do? Some people lost their lives trying to get to work via the same route! In case you’re wondering, I’m referring to the chaos caused by hoodlums (a.k.a area boys/agbero) around the High Court (Igbosere Street) and Moloney area of Lagos Island. Kam Salem House (Police Headquarters) was only a stone through away, this didn’t stop them from shattering windscreens, burning shops, breaking bottles and attacking people with machete.

I’m alive and unhurt that’s why I have a story to write. Every other thing is secondary.

I’m going to need a few days to catch up, but I’ll be back, see you soon!

P.S: I would start receiving Valentine gifts from tomorrow, 1^st February. Please send me an email or a DM on twitter if you do not have or have misplaced my mailing address. *big grin*

Happy Holidays

2011-12-29T15:32:00.000+01:00

They had just returned from the Sallah break that day, it was early September and a rainy day too, the girl from the adjoining office in her usual loquacious nature had come in to gist. Minutes later, they set out to Marina. Lady T wasn’t too eager to make the 15minutes walk but conceded only after her boss called in to say he would turn in late.

Off they went to the General Post Office and then the Bank; while she moved from desk to desk exchanging pleasantries, Lady T sat quietly in one corner doing all she could to avoid the stare of the afro spotting Teller behind the counter. Moments later they were back on the streets making their way back to the office when shouts of excuse me rang through; it was the afro guy from the bank.

Good morning, he said, almost breathless from the chase.

Yes, good morning, she responded in giggles.

Excuse me, can I talk to your friend, he asked, looking across her shoulder towards Lady T who was standing within earshot.

Me? Came her reply, a little bemused too.

Yes, you. I just want to introduce myself, do you work around here?

Getting a little uneasy she responded in the negative, gave him a rather vague excuse and began the return journey to the office, leaving her partner behind. Later that evening, an uninvited guest showed up at the office – it was him again, afro guy! That snitch had told him where she would be!

Against her wish, he walked her halfway home that day, telling her his life history and how he liked her appearance and would want to ~~date~~ marry her. Many more after-office-hours strolls later, defying the Aguda Vs Saro marriage taboo myth, they tied the knot on 29^th December that year – yes, your calculations are right, 3 months after.

Over 3 decades later, Lady T and Afro guy are still happily married with yours truly and the rest of the Charlies Angels to show for it. And that is the end of my story.

Happy Anniversary to my parents!!!

*******

Happy holidays to you all, thanks for sharing my thoughts through the year. Hope you all found your points of elevation during the year? If you didn’t, not to worry, delay is not denial, those goals can still be achieved, only if you do not give up.

Here’s to a more rewarding 2012.

Cheers!

Do not allow HORO to SCOPE you!

2011-11-15T10:37:00.000+01:00

Have you noticed the new addiction in cyberspace? It’s the horoscope! Years ago, you could have bet people just read those things in the Vanguard, Daily Times, Concord (what happened to these papers BTW? Gist for another day) laughed at them and moved on!

It’s quite different these days, not a few people now make it a/an ~~daily~~ hourly ritual to find out what the sun/moon is saying about their lives! Correct me if I’m wrong but since when did we become planet watchers, psychics and astrologers?

Before you argue about how right or wrong the predictions are, have you looked around long enough to find out that as different as our DNAs are there are behavioural similarities we exhibit as we cohabit together either as family members, friends or even colleagues?

Similarities in our morals/belief systems; cutting across tribes and religions? Certain things happen based on pure coincidence. If I detest boastful people and you do too, it’s probably because we were brought up to understand the benefits of humility, why then would you sing praises to the astrologer who says it’s because you’re a Gemini or an Aquarius? For some of you who took psychology classes or even those who read Tim LaHaye’s ‘Why you act the way you do’ didn’t you deduce that the temperaments have features that cut across one another? Hence, the fact that you’re Sanguine doesn’t make you less of an ambitious person! Aren’t those temperaments actually developed through a combination of family background, upbringing, education, exposure etc? Why then do some people look to the moon and stars for instructions on how to live?

Young lady, that guy’s got a bright future not to talk of being TDH + more; why wouldn’t you date him? Ohhhhhh, Cancer moon opposes Pluto hence your Aries body can’t mix with a Pisces loving? #EpicFail! When your younger sister’s last child starts calling you grandma, the mist would clear from your ~~glasses~~ eye!

Let’s not get carried away by the tides of foolishness, if you must read those things, do, for the fun of it, don’t let them dictate what you can achieve or who you are; afterall you and I can cook up stories inspired by the many Hollywood movies we’ve seen. Live, don’t just exist and stop allowing ‘horo’ to ‘scope’ you (if you know what I mean)!

Finally, Librans like to make money, fall in love and live happily ever after! *yinmu* who doesn’t?!

*images: http://www.corbisimages.com/

It's a Double!!!

2011-10-15T17:06:00.002+01:00

*Now singing*

If you were born in October, stand up! Stand up!!

If you were born in October, stand up! And dance!!

(Chopping mouth) a – reeaaal reeaaal roses God bless you!!!

Wow... so I wanted to start this post with a catchy/inspirational line but there’s too much chicken in my system... yes, I’ve been trying to eat all day but since I inhaled too much of the aroma, the only appetite I have left is for chicken.

By now, I’m sure you can guess today is my birthday!

Huh? You didn’t know? Well too bad.

Now that you do, wotchu gonna do abourrit?

Gosh... I’m high on sugar!!!

Let’s go down ~~Wisteria lane~~ memory lane, shall we?

A year ago, I was X years old, now I’m X + 1 = X + 365days years old. Before you grab a calculator please finish the post!

*sips tonic water*

Ok, so this very day last year, I published my first post! It’s my BLOGVERSARY!!! So yeah, it’s double celebration. That day, I fell off the stairs too *sigh* but it’s all good, I didn’t break a leg, only a sole!

Like yesterday, I remember inviting what turned out to be you all to come feel my pulse. I wasn’t sure I was going to be getting comments, but it didn’t matter! For many months prior to that, I had followed Q Money and LG as they took us through marriage and everyday life respectively. Their blogs were my go-to place when work became boring or traffic too horrible!

Imagine the excitement when LG showed up to (in her words) ‘disvirgin the blog’, closely followed by Myne and from then on, the comments just kept coming, and so did the followers.

I’ve been here long enough to see people fall in love, accept proposals, plan weddings, get married, make babies, birth ideas, leave without contact details or saying goodbye yet, most of us are still keeping on. Between the sleepless nights in school, horrible bosses at work, horrific traffic and political hullabaloo, we all have kept each other sane. Thank you all for the love.

I know there are many more beautiful days ahead, I’m grateful for the inspiration for the 50 posts in this first year of the journey, my 72 known followers, the unknown passersby and anonymous audience. Thank you all for the e-mails, recommendations and criticisms.

THANK YOU

LG, Myne Whitman, Roc Naija, Seshe James, Roc, Afrigenic, OmoTee, Fluffycutething, Ibhade, Naijamum in London, Miss A, Blessing, Neefemi, T.Notes, Anonymous, Q Money, Af, Thediaryofanotmadblackwoman, Gbemisoke, Lara, Doll, M1ke, Uzezi, Miss Fab, Seye, Os, Anonymous (Daniel),Who am I, Jaycee, Prism, 2cute4u, Tega, Iani, Le Dynamique Professeur, Mbabazi, Shaaka, Abigail NY, RemiRoy, Ms Yellow Sisi Unspoken, H, Mrs O, EDJ, Forbidn2us,Omoba – Adeteju, Taurus scholar, Rita, Omoregee, Chichi, Adiya, Chizy K, Anoda Phase, RemiRoy, Naijalines, Ibifiri, A-9ja-great, HoneyDame,Os, 9jaFoodie, Daughter of Her King, Natural Nigerian, Sisi Yemmie, Didi, Sosexy, Blogoratti, MaidofHeart, Fellow Writer, @ilola, Mimi B, Ayabaodusote, Mena Ukosoisready, Noah’s Crew, aeWHYoo: Fellow Writer, Amb. Caleb, Ginger, Ms Luffa, Giagerry, Kitkat, Emeka Amakeze, Ms JB, Gretel, BSNC, Dosh, Laurenta, Breeze, LOL, Love.Live.Learn, Enybees-hub, Dayor, Dee, Deolascope, Mikki, LadyNgo, Bisi, Olabisi, Toinlicious, Angels beauty,Naija4life, Afronuts, Luciano, JustDoyin, O25, Single Nigerian, Mstizzle, Qhule,Stelzz,Che, Rethots, Aloted, Ms Nana, Michael Onobote, Rhapsody B...

Baton for a New Race

2011-10-01T21:24:00.001+01:00

ATTENTION! ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!!!

Please poke all those who went to bed singing Green Day's hit... wake them up, September has ended!

In case you're wondering; while you slept, we cried, played, sowed, talked, loved and hoped a little more.

Its October 1, the first day of the rest of our lives, a day we celebrate the beginning of the next 50 years as a nation. 50 years that once again present the options to either push for greatness or turn up the volume on complaint speakers!

As we begin the last lap in 2011, we remember our tears - over the loss of dear ones, over unfulfilled dreams, over the failures of a potentially great nation, over the many stumbling blocks we face on the pathway to prosperity.

We shed tears because our hearts feel pain but I invite you to come with me into the rain, let it wash away your grief, depression and disappointments. Let it wash away every cloud hindering you from seeing the way forward. Let it not just be rain, let it be SHOWERS OF BLESSINGS!

· Pray with faith that victory is near.

· Enjoy the gifts in your possession (life and loved ones).

· Activate the CAN - DO spirit.

· Cultivate the habit of praise.

· Encourage others by doing the right thing first.

Be at PEACE with yourself, that's the only way you can help the nation pursue peace.

92 more days to the New Year. It’s enough time to get a new job, make a major breakthrough in your business, conceive an award winning idea, sow a seed of kindness, seek for forgiveness from the one(s) you've hurt, forgive the one(s) who've hurt you, fall in love, propose/accept a proposal to/from the one you love.

POSSIBILITIES... Endless possibilities abound. Tap into it for a brighter, better and befitting future or wait on the side line, murmuring and complaining of the things that have gone wrong. It’s your CHOICE, the FUTURE begins now.

Receive the baton of a new day, a new grace, a new path; take off into EXCELLENCE.

Happy Independence Day Nigeria (ns)!!!

Expatriate in the Building

2011-08-27T01:59:00.000+01:00

I really do not know what the situation is like in other parts of the world but I have evaluated quite a few businesses and can conclude that our customer care/service delivery in this part of the planet is distasteful. From the roadside hawkers to our telecoms service providers, the banks, the hospitals and unfortunately even in the hospitality business.

The (mostly) women who handle this positions surprisingly share the same characteristics – ill tempered, uncouth and impatient! Only a few of them deliver impressive service that make you want to get familiar with them. Majority simply treat you like they are doing you a huge favour by responding to your enquiries/complaints.

I got one of such treatments recently at an industry conference. Add the above traits to male chauvinist behaviour and you’ll have the description of the protocol officer!

BTW, if you (or anyone you know) work for that airline that offers cheap rates for domestic flights booked in advance online, kindly tell the management team that the services are crap. The only reason we still patronise you is because we ~~are Ijebus~~ like to support the proudly Nigerian initiative. Soon, we may get tired of your cancellations, delays and saucy helpdesk operators and embrace Virginity!

I arrived early to get my accreditation done, I had all the documents as stated on the invite but for some reason, Mr Protocol Officer couldn’t find my name on the list! I wouldn’t have been angry if he had offered to do a thorough check and rectify the error, but instead he concluded I was impersonating! What rubbish!

I had never met the man before yet he believed I was trying to impersonate someone! So I’m subjected to series of ‘irrelevant’ questions... ‘What is your name? Middle name? Spell your surname? Who registered you for this conference? May I point out that at this point he was holding on to all my documents, driver’s license inclusive; guess he was trying to figure out I was really trying to use usurp someone’s slot!

Tired of standing and stretching over the counter, I sat and began fiddling with twitter, only to be jolted back to reality about an hour later! Mr Protocol Officer announced he’ll be closing in about 45minutes but still couldn’t find my name.

‘So what do you suggest?’ I asked

‘Madam, I’ve tried my best, you didn’t register, what do you want me to do about it’, he said, attracting enough attention and scattering my documents all over the.

At this point, I’m thinking, should I ask to see a superior officer or make a call to the help line on the acknowledgement mail; before I could decide, an elderly woman intervened, speaking in Yoruba, she reprimanded him for making no efforts to get me accredited to which he responded also in Yoruba: don’t mind all these small small girls, I know the type of people that come to this conference, they are top people (hiss).

You can only imagine how I felt, having someone say such about you in a language you understand! I totally ignored, leaving the elderly woman to deal with him. Minutes later his supervisor made an appearance. Nice lady I must say.

Within minutes she searched through all the lists and there it was. Apparently, they had 2 lists; one for participants from different organisations within the country and the other for Expatriates (prospective investors).

Now, the truth is, my name doesn’t give an insight into what tribe I belong, infact, it appears entirely foreign; but that’s no excuse. That I was registered in their books as one of the expatriates is a sign of inefficiency; my forms clearly state my nationality.

Finally, my pass was handed over but I wasn’t ready to leave just yet. I needed to have the last laugh so I turned to the supervisor and told her how she needed to have her staff trained. I told her they needed to know that not every young woman is sleeping her way to the top. A few of us are working hard and getting recognised for our efforts, bla bla bla... and for maximum effects, I said it all in Yoruba; imagine the look on Mr Protocol Officer’s face, dang! All he did was stare.

Today, I cried...

2011-08-13T22:47:00.000+01:00

Today, I cried. No, I wasn’t flogged but I cried. I cried for the many times I had encountered near deaths, illnesses and other unpleasant situations and through it all God brought me out unscarred. I cried because I realise how ungrateful we all are sometimes. Because we complain about the lack of mundane things and fail to show appreciation for the essentials handed to us on a platter of gold.

I think about all those mornings I snooze for an extra 10minutes a total of 3 times before I finally get out of bed thereby saying so short a prayer I cannot remember once I jump into the bath!

I think about the many times I witnessed accidents on 3^rd mainland bridge and many of the other death traps we refer to as highways. I remember the journeys I have made within and outside the city, times my flight experienced turbulence and through it all I am still here.

The last 4 weeks have been really eventful for me. I have been happy, sad and indifferent; but isn’t that what life’s about. An acquaintance from my undergrad days passed away a day before she was to resume at an oil company in Lekki; she had been job hunting since 2008.

Sadly, last week we had met and spoken briefly at the airport in Abuja. Her mum found my card in her purse and called to inquire if she owed me as the family wanted to settle all her debts before the burial.

I’m just reading the story of Olajuwura Amoo-Onidundu and that’s what made me cry. Last month I had some medical issues to deal with but I was strong enough to get into an argument with the nurse. She had cut open the syringe before my entry into the injection room so I insisted a new one be used. When the matron intervened she said, ‘it would amount to waste of resources’, I then retorted with an indifferent look that if my HMO plan can’t cover the cost of an extra syringe then I’ll pay cash!

Since the introduction of HMOs, healthcare delivery seems to have nosedived even at the so called ‘good private hospitals’. A colleague was recently asked if he wanted silver, gold or platinum treatment after being diagnosed of malaria at the hospital. Apparently, the class of treatment he chooses would determine the type of drugs to be prescribed, recovery timeline and ultimately the bill!

I won’t even mention government hospitals where you have to run around to buy everything from gloves to syringe and injection, drip etc; God help you if you’re in labour and there’s no family member in sight; well, you can tip a student doctor to help you. I know this from a friend’s labour experience at LASUTH/Ayinke Hospital.

All in all, I believe we, as a people, as a nation still have a chance to get better. To correct the anomalies, seize the future and make it truly ours. You and I can start by being truthful and faithful in all our dealings.

Have a fabulous weekend!

N.B

The original post for today EXPATRIATE IN THE BUILDING would be up next week!

Honestly... would you?

2011-07-19T16:50:00.000+01:00

I was helping my cousin address his wedding invites when I saw Mr & Mrs Cobhams Asuquo, instantly I bombarded him with questions of how they met, if I could come along to deliver the card etc. Unfortunately, he didn’t let me but explained to me that Mrs Asuquo used to be a colleague; apparently she resigned a while ago, I’m not sure if it’s for private business or for another job but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her.

I wonder how much of a brave woman she must be, I imagined she must really love him to look past the disability and sign the lifelong contract. Asides from Ojuola (Cobham’s wife), there are a few other people known to have braved the odds. I have raised this issue among friends and while quite a few beat their chest to being able to go that lane, I’m still not sure I can.

It is not about being selfish or insensitive but honestly, it’s not as easy as it seems. If you’ve ever been a caregiver to a sick relative then you know a bit of what I’m talking about. Often times you end up ill from the stress of cleaning and caring for them.

For someone who likes to internalize issues and be realistic about things (I’m not against optimism oh!) I wonder if I can cope. There are those moments you want to act like a child around your partner, just milk a situation (e.g. pregnancy) and demand some extra TLC, there’s when you want to play hide and seek around the house, or on the beach, there are certain times you expect him to scoop you off the floor into his arms... wouldn’t these expectations be selfish if he was in a wheelchair?

How easy would it be to have to run home from work to make the meal and clean up, help with the kids’ school work all alone, everyday without the help of wifey who is physically challenged? Can you honestly say frustration wouldn’t set in at some point? Especially when there are those low moments at work?

I know there are 2 different scenarios here; first is when the condition is known from the get go. Secondly is if it occurs after the relationship had begun.

In the first case, you must have weighed the conditions well, separation/divorce is no option here; at least you were fully aware of the peculiarities before signing the dotted lines. In the African setting, family members may object to the union at first; if you eventually convince them, the burden becomes yours except off course your family understands.

Case 2 buttresses why everyone must marry someone they truly love. Sudden disability affects quite a number of things in the family – sex, career, finances, role-play and sometimes communication. I imagine that sudden disability in a partner will rock a relationship leaving the chance of its survival to the quality of its foundation. It would take sincere love and God’s matchless grace to avert a separation or even resentment.

I once read the story of a guy who attributed his success in life to his ex-girlfriend’s decision to leave him. They had been dating for about 5 years at the time but he never really showed any commitments to her, unfortunately he was involved in an accident that confined him to a wheelchair. He recounted that the lady was patient enough to nurse him out of the hospital and then left him thereafter stating she couldn’t deal with his lack of passion for anything.

Before you condemn her as heartless; imagine yourself in her shoes. Through the 5 years, she probably gave him all the signs that she was ready to be proposed to; I assume he kept promising without any concrete plan. She must have thought: if a guy is never serious with anything what are the chances he’ll not be completely helpless and slothful as a disable? In the end, she figured marrying him would be mortgaging her future hence she left and moved on. Thankfully, he learnt from the experience and has now made something of his life; but do these stories always turn out this way?

I guess this is why everyone must ask themselves if they can live with ‘the one’ when the worse befalls him/her, we must be sure we understand the clause ‘through good and bad times, in sickness and in health’. Most likely, a partner who’s always pessimistic about every little cloud would swing into full scale depression when it rains and probably log out on life if there’s a flood.

The question therefore is; would you marry a guy/girl with disabilities? Are there perhaps some forms of disabilities you can deal with and others you can’t?

15 Minutes on the Toilet seat

2011-07-06T13:23:00.000+01:00

Dear God,

I trust and believe in you. The scientists have said all sorts of rubbish about you but that’s their problem. It’s funny how they can never agree on something real; even when one of them got a ‘revelation’ to buttress YOUR existence, they still didn’t believe, well a lot of them are high on substances so *shrug*

I had fun in June but right now I’m kinda broke and that’s because the bosses have travelled again without handing over our pay check. The thing is, there was fathers’ day celebration and then you put my sisters’ birthdays 11days apart and so I spent a little more than I should have. Could you please touch their hearts and make them do the right thing? Thank you.

Heavenly father, I’m grateful for all you’ve done for me lately, the tears and disappointment of February has since given way to this new hope I have. I’m happier now, not because I have all I want but because you’ve shown me that you’re working on my case.

I’m happy because now I have really let go of the pains caused me by my ex and the Human Resources Manager. I’m grateful for the lessons I learnt, who would have thought I would be helping the HRM with her school work? I knew I had forgiven her, I guess the forgetting part is now accomplished. I wish you could help me to reach out to her a little more, to teach her how to be kind to others, to make her understand that she doesn’t have to be mean, inconsiderate and miserable just because she’s single and 30+.

I need you now more than ever before, first to help unlock my heart because I know you have the Master key. After the last experience, I locked it up and put the key away, now I can’t find it because I’ve rearranged so much and the only thing I see is work, movies, food, health and books.

Secondly, I know I once said I was tired of chasing my dreams and that I wanted them to just tell me where they were heading so we could meet up there. Well, I apologise because that came out wrong, what I wanted to say was I am sure you’re with me on the journey and that I know I won’t miss the path once I keep following your lead. Please help me not to stray.

Lastly, I need to see some signs, ones that won’t be confusing, so I can know for sure if this new friendship is what I think it is. If it isn’t, please help me to pick the vital lessons and focus on to what is important. I’m asking because he’s fast becoming a Weapon of Mass Distraction and I do not want to lose sleep over a flash in the pan.

Thank you for the grace and favour, I have to get back to work now, I will talk to you later.

Amen.

This was my posture while writing this post.

Planking (Laying Out) My Thoughts

2011-06-28T17:42:00.002+01:00

Disclaimer: If any part of this post is ambiguous or completely missing it’s because I’m blogging on the move, while trying to process official and personal thoughts.

It’s been a while since I last came here,

I almost don’t know why or maybe I just don’t care.

I am beginning to face the truth; I really can’t stay away forever,

Sweet or bitter, I’m ready for whatever,

If I get hurt I know I’ll recover.

It isn’t so bad all the time or maybe it is,

I have been hiding for so long,

Behind the wall I put up so strong.

It’s time to break it down and give it a try,

But wouldn’t I be creating room for people to pry?

*** 2 meetings and 3 hours later ***

The Israelites were so lucky *sigh*

There were simple signs everywhere,

Commandments on tablets to guide them,

Why can’t it be that easy anyway?

I’m tired of trying to figure it all out,

Maybe it’s time to take the plunge again,

If I succeed you all will be happy for me,

If I fall, I’ll pick something up and rise again,

Yes I’ll rise, I’ll rise, and I’ll always rise!

*** Back to the office ***

The world seems to be experiencing momentary imbalance the offshoot of which is seasonal madness expressed in different form. While I was trying to rap my head around windeck and comprehend Cabo Snoop’s style, he shot us with Prakatatumba. I still think that dance is a mockery of a feat of epilepsy; anyway, you all haven’t seen the last of crazy things.

This morning I woke up to ‘Planking’ all over my timeline. There’s no definition for it. It’s neither a sport nor an exercise. I guess people just need to burn excess energy. But then I hear it’s the Australians that came up with the name after the English invented it so I can imagine their brain was freezing over at the time. For everyone who’s still wondering what Planking is...

*Pictures Courtesy Various Followers on Twitter

Sunshine Award

2011-06-23T14:00:00.003+01:00

I just found out I am a recipient of the Sunshine award. Thanks to 9ja Great and Blessing; I’m still awaiting the cash that accompanies it though, I know the banks too are experiencing internet connectivity problems so I’ll be patient *wide grin*

I would like to also award the following people:

Lara – Shinning the light in the midst of all the clouds and hues of shadow can’t be easy. I respect you for retaining your sanity in a crazy world!

LADYGUIDE – My sweet sister, from the very first comment till now, thanks for being there to share the jokes!

9ja Great – All in one week, you’ve gotten a Hi 5!, 2 kisses and now a hug from me.

Chizy K – For satisfying my entertainment ‘amebo’ cravings

Samuel a.k.a. LDP – All the positive pressure you put on me just makes my writing better!

HoneyDame – We started this journey together and we would continue to share of success stories

Kemi (Till my dying day) – Marriage counselling with Practical examples at no cost – what more can a single sister ask for?

NaijaMum – enviable parenting skills, pertinent lessons to be learnt

Atilola – Soul sister, with all the love and spirituality shinning through, a vessel of honour you are, more grease (to your hair too, in its natural beauty *wink*)

EROInspirations – Keep sharing the word!

Gbemisoke – On and off blogsville, you know how we do.

9jaFoodie – Raising bride prices through culinary skills

Kitkat – Hilarious stuff you brew in that e-house of yours.

Anonymous – I’m not sure who you are but you make me happy everytime I think about the fact that someone outside the usual circle is patient enough to read and comment!

Lastly, to everyone who has stopped by, left a comment, followed, and even recommended this blog. Not forgetting those who have been inspired and have inspired me; the sun shines through on us as a reminder of the grace for a new day.

Thanks to you all for making me smile and for receiving the sunshine my blog brings!

Private Space: Keep Off

2011-06-20T10:24:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I just want to put up a sign saying 'Private Space, Keep Off', probably put it up on the wall just above my chair in the office; unfortunately, there's no assurance people would respect it.

They seem to be everywhere these days. People whose stock in trade is to butt into other people's business. A lady has a right to her space, her time, her privacy.

The other day I rearranged my drawer at work. I moved the provisions to the top drawer; that's the one with the key. Files now occupy the last drawer.

Prior to now I had my stash of provision in the last drawer - biscuits, milk, sugar, corn flakes, cashew nuts etc. They were there to save me from starving on those days I get too busy to step out for lunch. I would freely share these things with those who ask, however recently, some people have been helping themselves to it just cause they know where to find it. They've become so confident that they emptied a 450g of milk in the 2 weeks I was away from work! Isn't taking someone's belonging without their consent stealing???

Provision pilfering is the least of it, there are space invaders everywhere - in church, even in the family. Big aunties and uncles who 'care' so much all they want to do is hook you up with one of the 'old boys'' son just so they can brag about it later! How dare they reel out the story of my life just because they were opportuned to be there when I was born?!

Oh Sister Church leader, yes you're the parish pastor's wife and your ministry involves caring for all; have you ever wondered if I’m in a relationship with someone outside the Parish???

If you're not sure you should have asked instead of assuming my love life needed intervention! So you've decided to 'collabo' with your husband and you think the cell leader is right for me? Haaa..... Good choice, he's a 'loaded', spirit-filled brother after all; but shouldn't you have told me before giving him my 'case file'?

Ahem... Bro Spirikoko a.k.a Cell/House fellowship leader; but why now? They gave you my number and you just called and started 'famzing'. Its 2011 oh and the rules have changed; you should have considered the fact that we've never said a word to each other in over 10years we've been at this parish; shouldn't the close to 20years age difference set off an alarm in your head? Anyways, just so you know, I’m not in need of a sugar daddy; please pass the message across to Parish Pastor and his wife!

These space invaders need to lose my contact fast, it’s becoming appalling.

Rant over, I’ve got to get back to work, have a fulfilling week y’all!

Happy Children's Day!!!

2011-05-27T18:21:00.001+01:00

Children! Children!! (Yes, aunty)

Eating Sugar (No, aunty)

Open your mouth (Haaaaaaaa...)

We are H – A – P – P – Y (2x)

We know we are, we are sure we are,

We are H – A – P – P- Y, HAPPY!

All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small,

All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all.

Each little flower that opens, each little bird that sings,

He made their glowing colours, HE made their tiny wings.

Who stole the meat from the cooking pot?

(Number 1 stole the meat from the cooking pot)

Oh me? (Yes, you!)

It couldn’t be (Then who?)

Number 10, stole the meat from the cooking pot!

Hmmm... I remember the sweet old days. When Nasco Wafers and Capri Sonne made frequent appearances on my mum’s shopping list. I can’t forget Okin Biscuit in a hurry... how I love the rectangular shaped one... bliss!

Sometimes, I want to go back to being a child. Like today when the rain just wouldn’t let up! If I was still a child, I’d be home on holiday, watching Voltrone or Sesame Street while building pyramids with my Choco Milo and forming rainbow with my Gogo (Smarties). I miss those days.

Do you remember Cortina shoes? If you don’t then it means you wore Kito with your knee length socks! tehehe

BTW, does Mr. Sada still live in Sapele? You remember him don’t you? Yes, the farmer in Macmillian Book 3. Hopefully, Simbi would have changed her hairstyle by now.

How many of your old books do you still have? Do you remember Queen Prima, My Book of Bible Stories, Songs of Praise, Brighter Grammar and Students’ Companion? I never liked Larcombs, how can a book meant to teach children maths be so boring? No illustrations, no pictures, just black and white all through... unfortunately, we had to use all its volumes!

Did you play ten – ten and suwe? What about catcher and after-round-one? Well I didn’t because I was too ~~orobo~~ cute and classy for such. I had a jump rope instead, and during inter house sports, you can bet I was always the queen of the house. Why wouldn’t I, when everyone knew I ~~couldn’t run to save my life~~ was such a charming little lady *wink*

Growing up was so much fun, we drank Tandi Guaraná, Dr. Pepper, Afri Cola, Fanta Ginger Ale etc. There was also Planta, Cadbury Chocolate Spread, Fan Ice (a.k.a Yoghurt), Walls Ice cream and SAMCO, Bubblegum.

BTW, what’s the lowest price you remember buying Coca Cola?

We watched Fèyí kó gbón, Òwúrò lojó (Joke Silva), Tele Match, Rent a ghost, Frank Spencer, Dr. Who, Fragile Rock, Jumbo, Kiddies Vision 101, Speak Out.

Lastly, do you remember:

All stand, greet!

Good morning sir, you are welcome to our class, may God bless you sir!

Happy Children’s day to the young and young at heart!

Keep your Identity

2011-05-20T09:27:00.001+01:00

As human beings we strive to make an impact either in our immediate environment or in the world. While working towards being a force to reckon with, there are a lot of forces that try to sway us. To succeed, we hold on tight to our beliefs and focus on the goals to be achieved.

I have noticed that most successful people rarely ever change the winning formula. Manchester United for instance has won more trophies and accolades from football lovers and critics worldwide because they’ve been adjudged consistent. They have a tradition which they guard jealousy. The British Monarch is also revered, respected and thought to have no equals, simply because it sets its own standards, creates rules and compels everyone who must interact with it to comply, be it individuals or nations.

Unfortunately, same cannot be said for some of us. A common saying amongst our parents in this part of the world is ‘remember the child of whom you are’. They say this because they are well aware of the challenges we face during our daily endeavours, because they know that the greatest and strongest of men have lost their identity just for a moment of pleasure, while being distracted by the most mundane things.

Samson lost his sight to a woman and Esau sold his birthright for common ‘Asaro’ (pottage), other great men in history have also lost their fame, fortune and integrity on account of their lack of self control.

Your identity doesn’t end with your name, social security number, personal data or DNA. It extends to your culture, beliefs, value system etc. It is not enough to chant the ‘I am African’ mantra. Show the world you truely are. Some people travel out of Nigeria and after a few months they rename themselves, bury their manners and sometimes disown their parents, all because they want to belong. You cannot be more English than the British!

A few others go off to study and become so wild one would wonder if they ever heard the word. This identity denial is also evident on our blogs. Why would you agree to things that are against your personal beliefs just so you gain another follower?

I, for instance have personal views about certain issues – no to violent/abusive relationships, no to friends with benefits set ups, no to office romance amongst others – I make these known as I comment on people’s blogs. I’m not asking that you adopt my belief system, you can hate me for it, that wouldn’t change my stand; in the end, you’d either block me or unfollow me. That wouldn’t change the price of tomatoes at Mile 12 market!

If you spend all your time following the trend and trying to become a mirror image of others, you’ll only end up publicizing their achievements while your own dreams die.

Haile Gabriel Selassie didn’t become a long distance race champion because of his handsome face; Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie didn’t need a sexy name to win the Orange prize. I can almost bet the members of the review board cannot even pronounce her name! Taiwo Ajayi-Lycett didn’t have to go nude to achieve the enviable records she had in the movie industry. I’m sure some of you do not even know she once acted in the popular sitcom Frank Spencer.

Finally, all I’m just trying to say is, be true to yourself, your little beginnings would metamorphosis into a phenomenal future if you keep working at achieving your life’s purpose.

*This post was inspired by Beyoncé’s new video (Run the world). Although I’m not a fan, I’m disappointed in this new person I see. She seems to be infusing too much of Lady Gaga + Nicki Minaj spirit into her style; do you think she’s feeling intimidated by them? That yellow dress is such a disaster... the green one too.

On the bright side, it’s nice to see the African dance style. I particularly love the neck twisting/shoulder jerking one in 1:15min, I’m sure you remember it from 2face Idibia’s Nfana Ibaga video.

Enjoy the weekend y’all.

25 Questions

2011-05-10T13:37:00.001+01:00

Hey people, so last week I said on Myne’s blog that I was going to do the 25 questions thingy, well my talk about movies got in the way on Friday and since there’s nothing to do in the office today (generator broke down and PHCN is on bed rest), here we go

1. Do you have any pets?
No, I can’t stand them so I just make do with the one in my name.

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you.
right now... my phone, my laptop, external hard drive

3. What's the weather like right now?
Sunny. It rained a lot yesterday so the sun got angry and retaliated.

4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?
Yes. I ran into a stationary bus on my first day behind the wheels. No damages though, the trainer said I was confident on the field so he thought I was just trying to brush up my skills. Alakoba!!!

5. What time did you wake up this morning?
4.40am. No matter what time I hit the bed, my body is automatically programmed to come alive between 4 – 5am every day, sadly, even on weekends. *sigh

6. When was the last time you showered?
Last night. It’s the last thing I do every night. Baths are for the morning and pre-outing.

7. What was the last movie you saw?
Tyler Perry’s Madae’s Big Happy Family.

8. What does your last text message say?
Buy wheat bread when you’re coming. (from my mum off course)

9. What's your ringtone?
Numb/Encore – Jay Z ft Linkin Park

10. Have you ever been to a different country?
Does Benin Republic count? I was there for shopping during my undergrad days, asides from that I’ve been to Seychelles, Aruba, Brazil and Pueto rico, all in my dreams tehehe.

11. Do you like sushi?
No! I’ve never tasted it but I’m sure raw fish can never taste nice so why bother?

12. Where do you buy your groceries?
Shoprite, AshMart and the local market. Who cares? As long as its not fake/adulterated or expired!

13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster?
No. It may take time, but eventually my body shuts down unaided

14. How many siblings do you have?
2 sisters (I'm the pacifier, the link between old and new school, Malcolm in the middle)

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
Both

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
Oya oya ask my mummy LOL...

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
Glasses, as far as I’m concerned, sticking something into my eye is rough play, contacts or not!

18. Do you color your hair?
No, black is beautiful

19. Tell me something you are planning to do today.
Go home early.

20. When was the last time you cried?
February. You’ll find out why if you go here

21. What is your perfect pizza topping?
Pepperoni, it’s about the best... no?

22. Which do you prefer-hamburgers or cheeseburgers?
Ham will do, let’s leave Cheese for the mice.

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?
No, except reading and watching movies in the comfort of my room counts!

24. What is your eye color?
Brown

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?
Who cares? I don’t drink either, tonic water or cream soda does it for me.

* In response to Kitkat's question on my last post, I get the movies here. Let me know if you need instructions.

Movies

2011-05-06T17:21:00.001+01:00

I love movies... I can’t even begin to explain how much I love movies. One of the reasons I can stay home for an entire week without going even as far as my gate is because of movies.

I really enjoy seeing movies at home. That way, I can rewind as many times as I want just to enjoy a joke over and over again; I can also identify the actor/director’s mistakes and well, it’s cheaper! *wink*

There’s just something about seeing movies in the comfort of your house. It’s better than the cinemas; there’s no one disturbing you with BB noise, no one chewing gum aloud, you’re not distracted by the couple practising the kiss they’ve just seen in the movie and definitely no one laughing 5 minutes after everyone else saw the funny scene!

Don’t get me wrong, I go to the cinemas sometimes, especially when I need to get the full effects of a movie (e.g. 2012, Avater, Blood diamond) but most times, I see the movie even before it starts to show at the cinemas... don’t ask me how! It’s not easy to start explaining how to get down the load.

I have my movies on the go – at least 3 on my phone at any given time and over 100 on my external hard drive still waiting to be watched. When I’m not tweeting or reading, my movies help me through traffic.

A simple drama isn’t just enough; there must be something thought provoking about the plot (Inception, Shutter Island), the suspense should make your heart race (88 minutes); the characters must make you want to watch it again (Prison break).

Criminal plots/detective stories are my favourite. I just get really excited at solving the puzzle in my living room before *Michael Scofield or Agent Jason Gideon or Charlie Duchamp find the answers on the screen. In my mind, I’m a profiler; hopefully someday I might get into the behavioural analysis unit of the FBI. Even if I don’t, there’s no harm in increasing one’s IQ is there?

I love Tyler Perry’s works a great deal. He always has a serious message to pass along hence whether he’s dressed as hilarious grandma Madae or fine husband Terry Brock, you’re sure to learn a thing or two. His choice of soundtrack is always on point too and if you’re looking for a family based drama with an input of the God factor then you know where to look.

I’ll leave you with ‘Each Tear’ by Mary J. Blige. Its dedicated to Kitkat, I pray you shake off your worries and conclude your preparations for the exams on Monday. Best of luck.

*lead acts from Prison break, Criminal minds and Breakout kings respectively.

P.S: please let me know what your favourite movies are

Needed: A helping hand.

2011-05-03T17:10:00.000+01:00

A friend of mine had a little get together recently. While we boiled yam, I noticed her husband kept coming in to ask, ‘is it ready? Honestly I thought he was just hungry or probably they were expecting more guests. It all became clear some minutes later. Once she notified him the yam was ready, he promptly yanked off his shirt and got to work... pounding.

I didn’t taste it (I do not eat pounded yam) but everyone attested that the pounding was professionally done! At some point my friend mentioned to them that as a house rule, her husband does the pounding and that was when the argument began.

All the men, except her husband and one other guy felt it wasn’t right that he was the one pounding. According to them, it wouldn’t speak well of her if his relations were around! You need to see their looks when he revealed that he learnt it from his father... priceless.

He said his father had always told them that yam pounding is a man’s job!

Personally, I do not know how to pound yam and I’m not even eager to learn...

Dear Future Husband,

Where I come from, Eba is their staple food. Owning a mortar is not synonymous with being a good wife. A while ago, Mama Nkem at the market told me about Poundo yam, I have never tasted it but mum says its okay. If you ever crave pounded yam, just let me know, I’ll order an entire carton for a start. You know I’m doing this for you right? Or do you want me to have muscles like those bouncers?

XXX

#TeamPoundo.

I have spoken with a couple of guys about this issue and while a few of them do not have a problem with helping out at home, some unfortunately have stupid reasons for not wanting to. I think the dumbest I’ve heard thus far is ‘you have to let her know her place. I just concluded that the guy had ego problems.

I do not think it’s a big deal if the man pounds for the family, and not just pounding, any other supportive role in home keeping too!

The days of ‘mummy in the kitchen cooking rice, daddy in the parlour watching film’ are long gone! I’m not advocating that women should cross their legs and watch E! all day while the family starves and the home becomes a potential ‘Clean House Crew’ destination. All I’m saying is, there’s nothing wrong in daddy rocking the baby while mummy makes dinner... in the end, everyone is happy and she probably won’t have a headache later on in the bedroom. *wink*

Blogfest: Lessons from the A - Z Challenge

2011-04-21T13:18:00.000+01:00

If you do blog rounds as often as some people *side eye, then you probably would have noticed there’s a blog fest going on. It’s called the A – Z challenge. If you join in the fest, you’re expected to put up posts using the alphabets of the English language in chronological order. When you’re done, you’d have put up 26 posts... impressive huh? Yes, and it’s all for the month of April.

Thumbs up to Myne Whitman and Great 9ja Man. They’ve been consistent thus far – a round of applause for them please... *Oya, you two, take a bow and pose for the cameras!

Okay, Okay, enough of the paparazzi...

While trying to keep up with them as they take this challenge, I wonder if they realise it’s also a test and if they complete it within the time frame, they would have proven to us how consistent and dedicated to a cause they can be.

In life, it’s usually not the achievements that come with prices and plaques that bring the greatest fulfilment, but the ones that impact the lives of others and bring joys that cannot be fully described by mere spoken words.

For some reason also, I’ve patiently waited for some letters, namely, Q and X. Not because there aren’t words starting with them but because they have reduced frequency of usage.

Thus far, while I await the post with X, I’ve been impressed by Q.

The lesson in this for me is that, in life, some characters would be passive; this is not enough reason to underestimate their value. By characters, I mean people, skills/abilities and talents.

There would be that one classmate/colleague/neighbour that isn’t exactly the most eloquent or outspoken in the group. Slow down, be patient and find out what makes them special, you’ll never know what you can learn. While at it, discretion is needed so you do not end up befriending the neighbourhood psycho or even infringing on the person’s private space.

Finally, if you look within yourself, there’s that talent, an innate ability you carry around untapped. It might just be the link to that big breakthrough you’ve been praying for and in the end you’ll find out it’s been in you all along.

Asides

ü I wonder what’s going on with ROC NAIJA. I know he stopped blogging a long time ago but he still did his blog rounds until recently. I miss his comments.

ü I miss QMONEY too, I guess taking care of a baby is a full time job.

ü For a compilation of pidgin proverbs, if you haven’t already, please visit NAIJAMUM.

ü I found out Sugarkingg moved his hilarious self from www.sugarking-1.blogspot.com to www.theredcapchiefs.tumblr.com. Check out his beats too, music production has gone from hobby to business for him.

Fighting Fairly: Hold that tongue!

2011-04-18T16:38:00.000+01:00

*Special thanks for all the comments on the last post, especially for Naijamum's addition to the list.

I noticed early in life that I had a way with words. It must be because of all those new words my dad made me write and learn from NTA news and Concord newspaper. It was in my junior secondary school days that I learnt that every gift or skill acquired can have its negative side if not carefully/properly used.

I had ‘tongue-lashed’ this friend of mine for allowing someone copy her in a test because that’s what good friends do – they tell each other the truth! Well, it just happened that the truth is resisted if not told with wisdom. We never spoke to each other until I took my mum’s advice and apologised in SSS 2. Going forward, I tried to be careful with my ‘bluntness’ but yet again fell short.

This time around, I picked a fight with her because she was ‘dating’ a junior. In my opinion, it was improper conduct and unbecoming of a school prefect... pray tell, who made me judge? Till this day, I still see her action as wrong; however, my reaction wasn’t any better.

Fast forward, 3^rd year at the Uni.

Lovely Miss Bee introduces me to Mr A, a new member of our study group. Mr A and I develop this chemistry (nothing relating to love) and become almost inseparable. Miss Bee being the hyperactive person she is would drift back and forth, in and out of many groups – she was that jovial.

Weeks to the semester exams I receive a text from her, officially ‘unfriending’ me. As a rule, I never let anything get in the way when I’m trying to achieve a goal hence I wait till after exams to address the issue. Within the one month it took to complete the exams, herself and Mr A had exchanged countless texts... enmity was brewing, and sadly, I was caught in the middle.

Miss Bee claimed she was ending her friendship with me because Mr A had ‘stolen’ me from her and since she didn’t want me to feel like I had to make a choice, she was going to let him have me! Truth is, I wouldn’t have been bothered if not for the harsh words she used in describing Mr A.

It’s been over 6 years and although I’m still in touch with them both, things are exactly not the same. Last year, Miss Bee apologised for all the hateful things she said and asked if I could help put in a word with Mr A to forget the past. Although I’ve tried to, I totally understand Mr A’s standpoint of ‘yes, she’s forgiven but we cannot go back to how we were before’!

If I didn’t know better, I’ll say to him, activate your church mind and let it go, but honestly, I can’t. I have put myself in his shoes and I’ve concluded that friendship with someone who once called me a beast, threatened to kill me and hurt my family will take the Holy Spirit’s intervention.

In all these, I have learnt one very important lesson. In our daily interactions with family and friends, we are bound to offend/annoy each other, whether on purpose or just because of the peculiarities of our personality. When we do, depending on which side of the divide we are at the time (the offended or the offender) it is important to stop in our tracks and think of what our actions/reactions/inactions may lead to.

Fighting fairly is a skill we all must learn to acquire as we deal with our colleagues, family and friends. I now know that although the work and traffic induced stress in Lagos can get one angry without notice, it is no fault of the person who’s getting the brunt of your caustic tongue.

Words, either nice ones or hateful/haughty ones, stay in the mind of the one who hears them long after the speaker has forgotten. Personally, I’ve tested the silence first, speech later therapy, and it has worked thus far, saving me from regrets and earning me admiration especially at work. If like me you enjoy airing your views then it may be very difficult at first but with every chance you get to walk away, you become better at it.

In the end, relationships have been shattered past repairs and countries have gone to war not because the issues could not be resolved, but because of the impact of the words carelessly said to each other. Let’s put this little member of our body (tongue) in check before it sets the world on fire.

The Shopping List

2011-04-12T16:24:00.000+01:00

After my last relationship broke up, I decided I was no longer interested in ‘testing’ the market. My next relationship must be purposeful and worth the time. While the soul searching was on-going, I realised I didn’t have a full picture of what I was looking for. Don’t get me wrong, I knew quite well that for instance I needed someone with good looks who could deliver on TLC. I said to myself, he must be ‘God fearing’, treat women well blah blah blah.

I thought I knew everything I was looking for; however, I discovered with each day either by observing couples around me or with the guys I was meeting, that I really wanted a little more... make that a lot more!

Hence, I decided it was time to start treating this search for Mr. Right like shopping! I therefore made a list of MUST HAVEs and CANT STANDs.

Inasmuch as looks are important, I’m not overtly interested in drop dead gorgeous men; but the brother must be fine enough for me to want to be seen with him... don’t blame me, I just want to secure my children’s fate! His entire carriage must be endearing. He should be confident and well groomed. Good spoken English too... you can’t be throwing grenade at me or my friends!

When we’ve got the ‘front page’ sorted out, we’ll probably be hanging out more and then I’ll look out for the content which would include:

VERBAL INTIMACY – I have found out over time that communicating is important for me. He must be good at talking and listening. He has to like sharing his deepest emotional thoughts and desires. We can’t be having secrets and telling half truths; I want to have fun in my relationship and not be playing undercover cop. Besides, verbal intimacy is all that’s left when the body’s no longer hot and steamy sexy.

INTELLECTUAL/INDUSTRIOUS/ENERGY LEVEL – I like guys who are smart/bright and upwardly mobile; he has to be knowledgeable and be able to discuss important issues – the world doesn’t start and stop at Old Trafford or Emirates stadium. I am academic/career-oriented hence any man who thinks my pursuit of a PhD is a waste of time is a NO NO.

He also has to be industrious with an energy level that matches mine. For me nothing is too difficult to achieve, I therefore would find it difficult to cope with someone who’s sloppy, lazy or contented with simply ‘earning a living’.

FAMILY ORIENTED – if the reason we’re dating is for the possibility of spending our future together then alienating yourself from all semblance of family life would raise an alarm in my head. Simply put, he must be committed to marriage and family. IMHO, a guy who hates or treats his family badly would do same to you. I’ll expect that he treats his parents and siblings with respect and care.

SPIRITUALITY – I CANT date a guy who’s in a different religion or has different sets of spiritual commitments even within my religion. This is not about hating on any religion but I think life is a lot easier when you share similar beliefs. Before you begin to preach, my parents were from two extreme ends, one a devote Muslim, the other a mass serving catholic, so I know firsthand what I’m talking about, and I’ll rather just save myself all the hassles!

FINANCIAL INTEGRITY – in the long run, every girl looks to end up with someone who will be able to care for her material needs too. Before you scream independent woman, think about it; would you rather have him feeding off you... huh? I didn’t think so...

A man must be financially responsible. If he’s spending his entire salary on Arsenal kits/PS III console/throwing parties, you’d better watch out. If he’s too obsessed with making billions and thereby hinting blood money or fraud, you better put your shoes in your channel purse and slip out the back door!

VALUES/TRAITS – this may be an offshoot of spirituality but then it has a lot to do with upbringing too. You’ll score more points if you’re polite, patient and punctual. Add affectionate, sociable, a good sense of humour and emotional generosity to that list. While self confidence is a plus, I’d expect that he’s unassuming hence can accept criticism and admit it when he’s wrong.

EMOTIONAL HEALTH/ADDICTION – Do you know anyone who’s emotionally unhealthy? Ahh... you don’t want to meet any... trust me!

I once had a course mate who was also in my study group, for some reason, everyone was always trying to avoid him, so I put on my Mother Theresa apron and tried being nice... big mistake!

To put it mildly, dude was an all time pessimist (was that mild? ... shrugs) he would worry unnecessarily about everything, from his grades to his girlfriend. He was also a chronic cynic and more often than not, he was depressed. Being friends with him was emotionally draining!

I’ve learnt my lesson so I try to stay away from people who are emotionally unhealthy. The tell-tale signs usually include workaholic syndrome, victim mentality, obsession, anger (especially those ones associated with yelling and object throwing). I think it’s wise to steer clear of people with addictions, be it alcohol, pornography, gambling, sex or drugs.

You can't change him, unless he's willing to. BEWARE!!!

Over time, I have edited this list of mine and although I know that relationships are about compromises sometimes, these issues seem key to me. While they aren’t cast in stone, they remain my basic yardstick. I do believe that although I can teach a guy to prioritise his spending and be a lot more frugal, it’s up to him to want to learn and adjust. I definitely would not venture into trying to change a guy’s religious affiliations or doctrinal beliefs, hence, I’ll just ‘jump and pass’!

So there you have it people, let the missiles start flying!

I'm back!

2011-04-08T11:03:00.000+01:00

Hi people,

Trust you’re all doing well.

Its being so long since I last came here... my sincere apologies.

Contrary to what you might be thinking... No, I didn’t give up blogging for lent!

I’ll tell you what happened...

Err... well, Life happened!

Special thanks to everyone who dropped a line while I was on this ‘French leave’.

Thanks to RemiRoy for the e-book and also not forgetting The Corner Shop, A-9ja-

Great, Omoba-Adeteju for the awards!

Ø @Ladyguide: my Swedish Bitters, thank God for you and I

Ø @Lhararom: thank you for ‘every every’

Off to do my blog rounds... and look for that shopping list... yes, the same one I was

supposed to serve you guys a month ago *covers face.

Be right back... Stay Tuned!

TDH plus more

2011-03-08T17:06:00.000+01:00

Once upon a time, TDH was the added advantage a guy needed to possess for him to be considered good enough to meet your ‘girlfriends’. That way you could have them roll their eyes, Hi5 you and go green with envy; even if in the end he’ll never meet the parents. Every girl wanted to arrive at the class reunion and wedding with the finest bloke; it was a ‘rep’ (reputation) soaring ingredient!

Those days are long gone. In today’s world of Oprah Winfrey inspired independent women, the qualifications have changed. Tall, dark and Handsome (TDH) is no longer award winning. Brains, personality etc have been added to the requirement thus making it almost as complex as rocket science. After listening to countless disheartening stories of relationships gone sour, a single lady cannot but do herself the favour of ‘shinning her eyes’ before falling for a brother; biological clock or not.

Over the years, my friends and I have repeatedly trashed the issue of ‘qualities/requirements’. As you may have imagined, some qualities are popular/common such that any guy who didn’t have them was immediately struck out of the list of ‘prospective’.

HEARTistic matters have over the years defied the rules of the unwritten books; countless times we’ve seen couples and wondered what the ‘catch’ was/is. I personally know ladies who swore they couldn’t/wouldn’t be found with a particular guy only for them to ~~drool over~~ marry same dude thereafter.

With couples like Seal and Heidi Klum we’ve learnt that love is blind, Dare and Deola Art-Alade show that age is just concatenation of numbers, if you’re still wondering if celebrity unions work then you have met neither Olu and Joke Jacobs nor Tunde and Wunmi Obe... okay, I’ve digressed enough!

The point I’m trying to make is that like our DNA shows, we’re different from one another, not just in character but also in our taste/preferences for a significant other.

I do not expect anyone to understand my taste in men and I do not try to do same, hence, when I’m up and about checking my ‘shopping list’ in comparison to what the said guy is bringing to the table, it’s just because in the long run when you all are done with the hi5, I’m the one who has to manage whatever excesses/imperfection he has. Yes, imperfections. Everyone has them, I do too and at the end of it all, our ability to deal with those issues determine the success of the relationship.

So, what ‘features’ do you look out for? Which ones are must haves? Which ones can be compromised upon? I’ve got my shopping list ready; you’ll read about it in the next post, meanwhile I’m waiting to hear from you.

GOD SAID IT, I BELIEVE IT, THAT SETTLES IT!

2011-02-25T14:01:00.000+01:00

It’s been a tough week for me. On Monday, I started out full of energy, savouring the sunshine, however, a cloud appeared midday Tuesday. I got a mail “...we will not be proceeding further with your interviews” it said.

I had been on that process since August 2009. I had passed the aptitude test and 3 interviews, how could they suddenly end the process? It was my dream job. I had sacrificed a lot for this opportunity...

My mind was processing too many thoughts simultaneously.

Fast forward to Wednesday, mum texts to say I should forget about another job I had been hopeful for. Apparently she had called an insider (her cousin) who told her in confidence that the board members and top management had swapped names on the merit list for their ‘candidates’ *sigh*.

I still do not know how I found sleep that night. But I remember waking up in-between and remembering I had declared 2011 my year of elevation. Only then did my faith regain its strength.

I wondered how I found it easy to empathise with others and advice them to keep hope alive yet it was herculean for me. So I turned to the bible and reassured myself that all will be well, all I had to do was:

Forget the problems and hold on to the promises – Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old– Isaiah 43:18.

Let go of the disappointments and await the appointment - Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert – Isaiah 43:19.

I have since begun re-strategising, after all, if plan A doesn’t work, no qualms, there are still 25 letters left. I have also promised myself not to worry, because I do not want wrinkles. Moreover, nothing is too difficult for God to do (Jeremiah 32:27) and HIS plans for me are grand (Jeremiah 29:11) and because HE is ever faithful (Numbers 23:19, 23), I’ll be back to share my testimony soon.

COVERING THE SHAME (Part 2)

2011-02-17T12:56:00.003+01:00

The story continues, if you missed the first part, please go here

For a moment I thought I would pass out, but I didn’t, I couldn’t. Not now...

I held the paper with trembling hands. I felt everything... anger, betrayal, resentment... I had been hurt by my confidant, my soul mate, my best friend, my husband...

With another bang on the bedroom door, I jolted back to the present. There was no need to fight anymore, this battle has been won. I was holding in my hands the stone that’ll knock these goliaths dead for life, all I had to do was sling it with my last energy and so I headed for the door.

Just then, I heard a voice.

Stopping in my tracks, I listened as it became louder...

Like someone possessed with some kind of demon, I spun around, holding my ears. The voice was mine... the words I had spoken years before were replaying so loudly... “For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, through good and bad times...” the vow I read heartily. NOOOOOOOO!!!

And then I stopped to think, just as I whispered ‘Lord, teach me to apply wisdom’.

Moments later, I slowly unlocked the bedroom door as I pulled out my travelling bag, ready to leave. My feet had found strength again. Amidst the rain of abuses from my in-laws, I headed for my car. And then before getting in, I looked at them all once again, letting out a weak smile, I shook my head.

As I got in, I looked at the papers again. If only they knew... maybe... just maybe... but I couldn’t tell them, I couldn’t show them the different medical reports confirming my husband’s impotence. Reports he had tucked away in his VID bag... all 4 of them, hidden from me all through the years. I loved him too much to let this secret out, and even though this hurts so badly, I was going to cover his shame, because that is what you do for the one you love.

TEASER
If you were in her shoes, would you be able to forgive your husband for keeping such a huge secret? Would you show them (your in-laws) the reports and let out the secret that your husband has been shooting blanks? Or would you ask him upon his return to disclose his condition?
What would you do?

IS IT WORTH IT IN THE END?

2011-02-10T13:02:00.000+01:00

I am so disgusted at the news on BBC today. The story is about 20 year old Claudia Seye Aderotimi, who has just died following a silicon injection administered on her in a hotel room. The reports say she had travelled from London to Pennsylvania to get the ‘buttocks injection’ which she ordered via the internet.

Pray tell, why would anyone, a Nigerian at that, still be interested in body enhancement after the numerous deaths in recent times? Let’s assume at 15, she wasn’t old enough to understand the causes of Stella Obasanjo’s death in 2005, is she so cut off from technology that she hasn’t seen the stories about Michael Jackson???

As the name ‘Claudia’ depicts, she’s of a Christian background, probably a catholic, aren’t there teachings about this in the bible?

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (Genesis 1 : 27)

Aren’t we Africans? A people who are distinguished worldwide for their ‘heavy lips’, ‘bulging tummy’ and ‘mountain moving backside’?

I can almost assume that this girl is a student in the UK with family members and friends who love and dote on her, whom she has now thrown into tears and sadness, all for the mundane desire of a body that rocks?

We must re-orientate our young ones in the way of the Lord. They must begin to understand that they were made by the perfect creator and that their bodies are the temple of the Lord and must be kept holy.

I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well (Psalm 139:14)

Parents, guardians, religious groups and churches have a lot more to do. In a world where there are revolutions everywhere, where young people are seeking to make an impact and write their names in the sands of time, no one should be driven by low self esteem as to embark on a suicidal journey such as these.

Love yourself in totality because asides from the TRINITY (God the father, Son and Holy Spirit), no one else will love you perfectly.

Beauty is not in the face, it is a light in the heart.

What shall it profit a man to gain the world (in this case, people's admiration) and lose his own soul (Mark 8: 36).

The boyfriend or 'babes' she probably sought to impress would shed tears, but only for a while and move on with their lives. Some will learn, others will promise to use a qualified physician in a proper hospital. The cycle goes on. For how long shall a generation continue like this?

IF ANY MAN HAVE AN EAR, LET HIM HEAR

COVERING THE SHAME

2011-02-07T16:36:00.002+01:00

I apologise to everyone who tried dropping comments on the last post but couldn't.
I just realized I had messed with the settings thus disabling comments.

Thanks for trying anyway.
T.Notes, thanks for the heads up.

Finally, I crawled to the dressing table, blinded by tears. And with all the strength I could muster, I reached out for the wipes... my life, as I knew it had just ended, but I wasn’t going to give these women the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

How could this be happening to me?

But why?

We had been married ten years, eight of which had seen me go through the wilderness, his mum and sisters had made life miserable for me... the name calling, ridicule and humiliations.

My husband had tried to protect me, he never talked about it, he... no we, we believed it was going to happen in God’s time. Unfortunately, his job had taken him away from home more often than I would have wanted, and for each day he was away, I had faced the full wrath of his relatives.

Now they were about to throw me out, and I find this...

Slowly, I picked up my ‘VID’ bag ... it seemed easier than picking up pieces of my now shattered life. On second thought, I unzipped it and took out what would now be my life. I couldn’t take that bag with me.

A trophy was the last thing I needed... he had given me that bag right after our marriage. It was to keep ‘very important documents’. He had one just like it... I remember thinking how thoughtful he was, as I neatly arranged my certificates in it.

Unknown to me then, that same bag was to house the lie I would be living.

To be Continued...

ODD WORLD

Hey fellaz, what would you do if you're on a date and your partner orders SOAP as opposed to all the other delicious items on the menu? Or ladies, let's just say your friend comes visiting and while you prepare something to entertain her she starts munching your bar soap, or licking your detergent? What would you do?

Did you say impossible? Then you haven't heard about 19 year old Tempestt Henderson (by the way, why would someone be named Tempest? Even with the spelling variation, all I can think about is the dictionary meaning... *sigh*)

Tempestt licking detergent.
Source: www.dailymail.co.uk

27TH JANUARY: WE STILL REMEMBER

2011-01-27T11:35:00.003+01:00

I remember, just like yesterday, the day had started like any other. It was a Sunday, so the quietness in the neighbourhood was understandable. And then suddenly, I felt it. The vibrations and quaking of the ground. The noise of the windows slamming shut.

For a minute I thought Nigeria was experiencing her first earthquake. Running out, I noticed the bright lights in the distance. No... these weren't fireworks.

As I stood there watching, the man-induced evil was taking its course.

Lives of the innocent - men, women, children of all ages - were wasted, all because a few people, whom unfortunately have been mandated to safeguard lives and properties, had failed at their duty.

We may never know what really happened on that 'Black Sunday', but we would forever remember the future leaders, bread winners, benefactors and dependants, who for fear of the unknown, made unscheduled journeys to the land of no return.

It’s been 9 years, while many do not remember; those who lost loved ones continually say their prayers while others who have been rendered homeless count their losses.

The question is, are the armouries safe now? Or have the bombs changed hands and locations for explosion?

Aren’t we all, as residents in Lagos and indeed Nigeria sitting on bombs that can explode at any moment?

Award for Stylish and Versatile Bloggers

2011-01-17T17:37:00.002+01:00

I am indeed overgasted and flabberwhelmed (ok you can switch the words before you tear the dictionary apart) at this nominations. Special thanks to NAIJAMUM, WILD BOY , PRISM and TEGA for finding me worthy; this for me, is a challenge to be more committed to blogging.

So back to the awards, the rules are as follows:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
2. Tell us 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know they have won

Here are 7 random things about me:

1. I play the Cello and hope to learn to play saxophone and clarinet soon.

2. I've never suffered stage fright in my entire life, I had my first stage performance at age 5, in fact, I think I was born for public speaking.

However, Acute Shy Mode is activated when I'm on a date (especially first dates). I don’t know how or why it happens, I just feel so uncomfortable when I have to eat with someone staring.

3. I’d rather stay home gisting with my family and watching movies than move about in the blazing sun. Hence, I try to plan my itinerary well so I can clear out all outings in one day.

4. I really do not know which I love more – politics or sports. I’m almost sure that at some point in future, I’ll venture into politics, most probably by appointment.

5. I plan on visiting all the continents. Deep down inside, I’m an aspiring globe-trotter.

6. My favourite food is plantain (does that even make sense?) Plantain is the only thing I can eat and not get tired. And yes, I eat it with virtually any and everything – rice, beans, porridge, eba, bread... yes Bread!

I eat it boiled, fried, roasted as well as mashed and baked( you’ll need pepper, eggs, etc). My mum has given up, trying to change me is a waste of time... I love me some plantain. Yummy!

7. I totally believe in love...yes LOVE! It’s soooo simple, there’s someone out there for everyone, you just need to find him/her to know what I’m talking about. Did I mention that I like them tall? Ahhh... I'm about 5'8

in my stilettos and thus far I've attracted only 5'10 or taller brothers... but somehow I keep having this feeling I'm going to end up with a dude my height or inches shorter. Weird hehn?!

I hereby tag:

1. Ladyguide

2. Tamunoibifiri Mobolaji - Kamson

3. Gbemisoke

4. Mbabezi

5. Iani

6. Lara

7. 2cute4u

8. Fluffycutething

9. Af

10. Doll

11. Qmoney

12. T notes

13.Notmadblackwoman

14. Miss A

15. Omoteedlaw

Phew...! Okay, so now that you've been tagged, please prepare your acceptance speech and follow the instructions. QED

AWAY FROM SERIOUS BUSINESS

2011-01-14T12:26:00.002+01:00

Hi people, as you all may have noticed already, its politics, politics and more politics in Nigeria at the moment. Political parties are holding their primaries to determine who will represent them during the presidential polls in April. Yesterday, (January 13th) delegates of the ruling party - PDP - voted President (Dr.) Goodluck Ebele Jonathan as their flag bearer. I'm sure you all have overdosed on the details already.

To take our minds off the PDP ~~comedy~~ primaries, here's a selection of 'political cartoons' (sorry its politics again but hey, they are just cartoons... Enjoy!

1. Jona and friends

2. 'To hell with the cabal' says Dora Akunyili

3. Did IBB step aside or did he get 'flung aside'?

4. Sanusi catches the lawmakers redhanded

5.Epileptic power supply

6.Yerima marries 13year old

7.The masses suffer while the elites say AYE to enjoyment.

8.Corruption in high places

9.Is Goodluck enough? ... Guess we're yet to find out

10.Consensus express

11.Corrupt Governors and the Economic & Financial Crimes Commission

12. In sickness and in health... till God do us part

13.Corrupt Nigerian legislators

14.Octopus PDP grabs its all... RIP Octopus Paul

15.Blame it on AbdulMuttalab

16.Like a thief in the night...

17.LDR - Long Distant Regime

18.Politicians on rampage

19.All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others - Napoleon

20. What You See Is What 'We' Get

These cartoons are the brain child of Etim Bassey Asukwo, a journalist with Business Day Newspapers. He's also a ~~retired~~ blogger, check out www.asukwo.blogspot.com for more hilarious and thought provoking sketches.

*Pictures courtesy www.cp-africa.com and www.asukwo.blogspot.com.

R. S. V. P. 2011

2011-01-13T14:14:00.000+01:00

As Nigerians, we are at that point again, in the making of our political history, where we have to take our fate in our hands and decide how we want to be led into the future which unfortunately many have already written off as bleak.

It is time to begin the ever worrisome process of choosing those who would on our behalf, think, promulgate and execute laws that should take us to 'the promise land' or at least guide us in the path towards it.

Come April 2011, Nigerians aged 18 and above, would file out to vote-in another crop of political leaders. Many have concluded that it would be business as usual - stolen ballot boxes, mass thumb printing and poll-centre hijacking etc - however, I'll like to ask that we all do our best to ensure it isn’t.

The future we all talk about will someday be our present. When that day comes, we don’t want to be full of regrets.

We have blamed our fathers long enough forgetting our children will blame us even more if we fail. It is time to practice what we've preached, let's do our part and leave the rest. Be the face of the change you seek.

REGISTER: Come January 15th, the registers would be officially opened for eligible electorates, do make out time and register in the area where you intend to cast your votes. Observe the process with keen interest, check the slip and ensure your name is correctly spelt. Keep your slip for verification thereafter.

SELECT: The primary purpose of every election is to identify the people's choice of leader through their votes. There are quite a number of candidates veering for various positions, endeavour to identify them all. Gather as much information as you can on each of them, let your fact finding include, their past, records of achievements and misdemeanours and most importantly their manifesto. Do this before Election Day (April) and decide whom you will be casting your votes for.

Politics of rice, beans, recharge cards and tee shirts would only produce 'Ghana must go' hugging leaders. Choose wisely.

VOTE: The elections have been slated to hold in April. It is tempting to sit back at home and watch movies all day - please don't! Make your way back to the registration centre or designated polling points and CAST YOUR VOTE. It is important because if you don't, you'll be helping some undeserving candidate get into office. Remember, political thugs find it easier to carry out mass thumb printing on empty/unused ballot papers. Don’t give them the chance.

PROTECT: When you're done casting your vote. Monitor it, ensure it is counted, keep the records and compare with the ones INEC releases later.

Remember, your Smartphones are not only entertainment gizmos; they can help create the future we hope for as Nigerians. Monitor proceedings and share pictures, text messages, reports, videos and other forms of data on social networks (Twitter, Facebook, YouTube etc).

While you're at it, be careful, only the living can tell a story.

LONG LIVE NIGERIA,

GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

For more information, visit:

www.inecnigeria.org

www.enoughisenoughnigeria.com.

INEC = Independent National Electoral Commission

Exit 2010 -----> Enter 2011

2011-01-05T15:19:00.000+01:00

The Year 2011 is finally here. As usual, the crossover was amidst jubilations and colourful displays, at least for most people. I'm happy to be here, living unaided... I mean unaided by technology (remember Late President Yar' Adua this time last year) but definitely by my creator's grace.

The year 2010 was highly anticipated many years before the millennium started, I remember Vision 2010 and the likes from as far back as 1999. One doesn’t need a statistician to know Nigeria failed in realising the goals so widely publicised in the dailies.

I am not one to make New Year resolutions, I write prayer points instead, it’s a reflection of my faith and how I continually wish to live my life. Each of these prayer points represent goals I work smart to achieve.

Its 100% of 50 – 50 for me... for each item on the list, I pray earnestly for what I want (the first 50) and then, I work towards achieving them (the other 50). While praying, I study the scriptures and sometimes fast (that is, if my body, workload and energy level permits, make person no go *kpeme)... that to me, is 100%.

In working smart, I make a *SMART plans and try all available alternatives so that in the end, even if I do not hit the mark, I would have satisfied my conscience that I did all I could.

Year 2010 was not exactly how I hoped it would be, I lived a lot on HOPE... on COURAGE and then with DETERMINATION.

I had called it year two thousand and thanks... as I look back at the various moments... I am indeed thankful.

Thankful for the lifestyle changes I finally made

Thankful for now, more than ever, I know who I am... and who I want to be

Thankful for the disappointments... they helped me become more determined

Thankful for my family, friends and foes...

Thankful for every minute I spent making someone else happy

During the Christmas celebrations, I wasn’t even sure what to expect or look forward to in 2011, but now I know...

I remember the *Yoruba adage...

Apé kó tó jeun kii je bajé

Direct translation: He who eats late, would not eat spoilt food.

Actual translation: The patient dog eats the fattest bone.

(It is more profitable to exercise patience while seeking a durable solution, in difficult situations than to hastily accept an ill-conceived solution)

Ení bá dami sí wájú, á te ile tútu

Direct translation: He who pours water on the floor would walk on a wet/cool ground.

Actual translation: You shall reap what you sow

Subsequently, I have concluded that all I did in 2010 was SOW... the seeds of kindness, love, hard work and plenty of sacrifice.

As expected, after SOWING comes REAPING... and considering the many seeds I have sown, the HARVEST must be BOUNTIFUL. So much that there will be enough to go around for me to INVEST in other people...

It is with this in mind that I say...

Welcome To Year Two Thousand and ELEVATE!

Note

*Kpeme = pidgin word for die

**SMART plan = acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-based

***Yoruba= a language spoken predominantly in the South West of Nigeria

Shopping: The Isale - Eko Style

2010-12-20T12:35:00.000+01:00

Mum had the brightest idea this weekend... she wanted us to go shopping like the proper *Isale-Eko that we are. She says she doesn’t understand why I have totally turned my back on the normal open market as if they didn’t exist before boutiques and the internet. When we were younger, she used to take us through the popular Balogun market and school us on how to shop for everything we needed... Ok maybe not everything.

I knew how to navigate from Balogun to Breadfruit and then Apongbon through Oke Arin for fabric, shoes, kitchen utensils, household wares etc, I still do. Haggling was also not a problem, over the years I had mastered the tricks.

First, you enter a shop (say the African Fabrics store) and then look around until you get the design you like. Ask for the price... your best bet is to try and decipher the seller's tribe before you say a word. If they're Ibo and you don't speak Igbo, please stick with pidgin.... and if they're yoruba, then fire on in yoruba... but never speak Queen's English, you'll be shooting yourself in the foot if you do.

So you ask for the price... when they tell you, cut it down by half or more (he might say N6,000, you tell him N3000 or even N2000). The ibo guy will probably say 'Ah... N2000 na money but e no good for that price'.

Don’t be fooled... try looking through other designs, at this point he'll start reeling out the prices... he might even tell you that the one you picked initially is of a higher standard/better quality. In between this, he'll try convincing you on why you should or should not buy your initial choice. Insist on the price you mentioned earlier and watch his expression.

Still not bulging? Walk away slowly... if the shop next to his stocks the same kind, try making your way in there, he'll call you back and reduce the initial price he told you (probably to N4000) and even tell you that's the last price.

If this happens, keep walking away slowly, or stop by another stall to check out other items (remember, checking out wares is free, no crime in window shopping).

At this point, he’ll say 'Ok sister, wetin you go add join that N2000?... Tell him, 'Add ke? Abi make I comot N500 sef, this thing no cost reach dat price na!.

Expect to hear something like, 'Oya add N500 make I just sell am for you, but make you no tell another persin say na dat price oh, this one wey I give you na wholesale price'. At this point, he'll start packing the item into a polythene bag.

Reach for your purse and ceremoniously bring out the N2000, collect the item before handing him the money. He'll look and it and say 'e remain N500'.

Tell him that's all you have and try walking away slowly, he might then say 'okay add N200, that one na my gain'... Don't.

However, if he insists strongly at that point where you try giving him the N2000 and he hands you back the money, it means he really won't sell for N2000. Try walking away... he might then call you back and ask for N200 extra... tell him you'll add N50, he might say N100 or insist on N200. At this point the decision is yours, whether to buy or move ahead.

It is important to note that there's no rule that says you must buy from the first shop you walk into. You can move away to other shops to find out the average price and then return to the one with the cheapest. You must always ensure you know the cheapest selling price of each shop before leaving. That way, you’ll do a good comparison and end up with the best bargain.

DISCLAIMER

If reading this alone makes you tired, then you probably won't be able to practicalise... the good news is Da Viva shop is still open at The Palms... and kitchen wares are on sale at Adam 'n' Even.

The Yoruba sellers are quite different. In fact, with most of the women, you might even be cursed, but hey, as long as you get the best bargain, nothing else matters right? After all the attendants at our favourite stores/boutiques are not the most courteous people we know.

Note

*Isale-Eko = Downtown Lagos also known as Lagos Island.

Fatal Attraction 2

2010-12-17T14:26:00.000+01:00

Compliments of the season dear bloggers.

Thank you all for checking out my e-house from time to time, and for all the comments. God bless you!

This is the concluding part of FATAL ATTRACTION. As you may have imagined, I had the chat with him and well, here's an excerpt:

Me: there are 2 reasons am very angry with you today and We need to talk about it ASAP

Archy O: wetin I do oh madam

Me: aint a laughtin matter

Archy O: if u are not laughin den d wrld is in trouble

Me: hey, i’m serious

Archy O: reali? Oya wetin

Me: first i’m still waitin for the software but that’s trivia

Archy O: oya tell me d one dat’ll gimme cardiac arrest

Me:the text u sent me last night

Would u pls ensure u never send me a text like that again

And im serious

Archy O:I dint min it dat way oooooo

Me:Look Tunde listen, i’m not jokin here, wld u pls be serious

Archy O:ah ah PET PROJECTS u cant be vexing now

Me: I am

Archy O: u’re serious?

Am so sorry, rili i am and it wont hppn again

I swear

Me:i value our friendship and i find it disturbin that it may seem like a threat to ur relationship

I dont want that to happen so pls

Archy O: im truly very sorry

Pls forgive,

Me: k, apology accepted

So how was ur day and where’s my software?

So, that was the conversation, I made sure to save it so you all could analyse on my behalf. I thought it through and I just knew he didn't get the message. Although I planned to give him space, we still had to meet up over the weekend (I'm planning the wedding remember?).

When I arrived at his apartment, everything looked normal, then at some point we get to be alone and he says he's really pissed off at me, can you believe it? I was, to say the least, gobsmacked! How dare he?

He goes on to say, I'm acting immature, he thought I was different from most girls he knew and that having a fiancée doesn't translate to keeping away from all his female friends. Hmph...

The conversation died prematurely when she (the fiancée) walked in a few minutes later.

Consequently, I have stylishly avoided him since then, my excuse being 'work', fortunately, he knows that December is the busiest period for us so there isn't much explaining needed.

I am an analog babe in a digital world... yes you read that right! Where relationships are concerned, I believe when you're committed to someone, you stay committed to them, especially when you have promised forever. Its wrong to start looking for a side plate when the main dish is all yours. 'Nuff said.

Do have a lovely weekend y'all.

How long is too long?

2010-12-14T12:28:00.001+01:00

Every girl hopes to meet 'THE ONE' at the right time and settle down to the happily ever after phase. From our teen years we are groomed and nurtured into becoming the 'total woman', one who can successfully achieve the work-life balance. We read books, and seek counsel on what a relationship is all about. All these, just so that we are ready when we finally get into one.

Then at some point we meet 'the one', its shaky at first and we're so confused, we ask all the what if and what if not questions. Finally we accept reality, relationships are never 100% perfect, the ability/decision to ~~overlook~~ live with the flaws is what signifies the unconditional love we proclaim. And then the wait starts...

In the Nigerian/African setting, the onus falls on the man to propose marriage, in order words, he determines the duration of the courtship. This is not to say that the lady sits back, crosses her legs and waits... we have been wired to drop suble hints to speed up the process. However, it seems some guys just never get there.

A friend of mine started dating her 'husband' when she was 18. As of today, they aren't married, at least not in my books! First they dated for 5years after which they began cohabiting, this went on for a long time until she announced she was pregnant. Her mum sprung into action asking for a date to formalise the union and all they got was an elaborate introduction! At the time, my friend was 31!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a guy who has a job that pays the bills, his personal business, a car, a fully furnished apartment shouldn't be hesitant about walking down the aisle with his devoted fiancée of 13years. Till date, they haven't been to the court neither have they had an engagement/church solemnization. It therefore troubles me that he proclaims undying love, yet isn't eager to sign the dotted line.

Although there is no rule book that suggests the appropriate duration for courtship, isnt it just frustrating to be in a relationship that seems to be heading no where? I have heard cases of people who dated for 10, 12 and even 15 years and still never made it to the alter. The question I want to ask is, did he/she change after a decade or you just decided to ignore the red flags from the beginning? Experts have said that the red flags can be sighted as early as 3 months, they may be wrong but did it have to take 10 years?

There are a few excusable reasons why a courtship might be long, for instance a couple that got together in their first year at the University may not get married until after about 3 years post-graduation, thus bringing their courtship years to about 8 or even more. But in some cases, it just seem they are comfortable with 'no formal commitment'.

I keep wondering why some relationships are like this, is the guy scared of committment? Is he just trying to be sure he knows her well enough? But then they say you never know all, even after decades of marriage, the learning continues. Or perhaps, he's already getting free meal tickets (love, attention, sex) so why should he pay (do a proper marriage)?

These are my thoughts, let me know yours.

Twitter: The New Slam Book

2010-12-08T15:03:00.004+01:00

Last night as I rode home in traffic twitting, I was reminded of a popular high school culture, which had the reputation of either increasing or dropping one's social ratings - the Slam book.

The Slam book is a book created to elicit people's opinions about you. First, the owner writes out random questions such as favourite colour/subject/movie/actor etc, and then he/she passes the book to friends who are expected to answer truthfully. The fun of the game is usually in finding out who was crushing on who, who were secret admirers, who has been stealing kisses and with who etc.

Note that, the owner ensures no one is able to read responses from others, so automatically, you alone get to compare notes and be in the know of all underground 'runs'. However, most times there are more than one slam book in rotation so as expected, one can swap tales with 'trusted' friends later. The irony of this is, the story usually gets out in the end.

Now back to twitter...

Yesterday, the Number game was trending on twitter. Your followers were expected to choose a number, which they send to you via DM (direct message) and in return you must state the number (no name) and what you honestly think about the person on your timeline.

As expected, there were all sorts of responses, I would like to share some of the comments I got. I'm sorry I would love to just copy and paste but those with FBI/CIA inclinations would uncover my identity and I don’t want that. Hence, I'm just going to retype, so here we go:

(1) One of the most hardworking babes I know, tenacious just like me. Am I allwd to say I luv u.

(I met him at the library many years ago and we've kept in touch, nothing special)

(2) Ahhhh oni jogbon, lemme go back and think sha, but u cool babes.

(Meaning: troublemaker... well I hate being bored so I try to pull people I'm cool with out of their shell, I guess that's why I'm a troublemaker to her)

(3) You'r such a 1derfl prsn, sarcasticaly funny, beautifl evn w/out makeup, may ur hdwk pay.

(Ok, the truth is, I'm not a huge make-up fan. My daily look entails making my lips kissable, although I don’t subscribe to dramatic colours. You'll catch me with make up only when there's a party to attend, even at that, I don’t do colour separations)

(4) I used 2 thnk u were stuck up til dat beach parry last yr, do y remmbr. I kno berra now

(I don't make friends that easily, I'ld rather work on keeping the few I have. To alot of people, that's being stuck up. Truth is, after a few experiences, I've learnt to choose my friends and not let them choose me... I'm happier for it. )

(5) I liked you but then you like my friend more, I had to let go I wouldn't do that to a bruv

(What?! I thought this guy was just in a class all by himself, you know... like he was reserved, shy and all that... and he's such a fine boy oh... funny thing is, this friend he's referring to is a distant relation. *sigh*)

(6) I admir ur dtermintn 2 succed but u'v got 2 start livin more --> no beef

(Thanks, I'm doing that but your definition of work-life balance is different from mine)

(7) Girl u sure nid 2 get laid den u'l see life is not ant filosofy, #truetalk

(It’s his opinion and he's entitled to it. Celibacy works for me and I don’t have to be accountable to him or anyone for that matter. BTW, he DMed later to say he was wasted, however, I think Twitter gave him an opportunity to spill his gut, something he wouldn't normally do. I know cos the time of his twit was 7:42pm... he was barely out of the office)

(8) One of d most confident person i hav met in my lifetime, a darling sweet and tender, very easy 2 relate when u are not dodging me anyway

(I refused to date him a while back and he wasn't mad about it... or maybe he was, but doesn’t show it)

(9) I sense a strongwilled lady, thats a turn on 4 me, but since Im married, well

(I'll have to be careful around this guy now that I know)

(10) U kno hw I fil abiut u but make I still talk am, u dey giv me boner

(In case you don’t know what that is, it means I give him a standing ovation also known as an erection. I don't know what to do about this guy, he's just a pain in a sweet way. I see him at Domino diners, we say hello, he's extremely funny, and he’ll say how he feels any day)

(11) I love ur smil n dats y u'r stil my profilpix. I'm workn on my drinkn issues so I can come and marry u, will u wait

(I have friends who drink, and heavily too but I have a problem with dating a guy who drinks... is that double standard or am I just looking for a bit of my dad... food for thought. As for this dude, I'll be long gone by the time he drops the bottle)

(12) Big thinker, smart woman, I used to thnk u dnt get angry till dat day, i dnt wnt 2 ever c dat day. beaufiful smile

(I won’t be human if nothing made me angry. I'm slow to anger but people tend to take advantage of my smiling face)

(13) I envy yr lifestyle, notin bothers u. I jsut hope u’ll stop livin 4 odas n concentrate on findn love cos u dserv it

(If only you knew... somethings bother me but over the years, I've learnt never to wear my worries as make up. These days, I live a little for others and I never forget to put myself on the list. I know I'll find love... and when I do, expect an invite)

(14) I wish I can steal a kiss someday. or a peck

(If wishes were horses, this dude will buy a stable)

(15) I used 2 fink u were introvertd til i saw u @ sis B hen night. cnt fgt d ass giggle

(I loooooove dancing and that's all I'm saying)

Okay, so I'll stop here, have a nice day y'all.

Thanks for stopping by.

Fatal Attraction

2010-12-07T17:28:00.000+01:00

I've had such a busy week and its only Tuesday. Yesterday, I left my desk just once and that was because I had to visit the ladies, today, I'm still stuck here. There's just so much to do. Yuletide is peak period for our business and so no one is ever allowed to go on leave in December, however, two of my colleagues are out of the office for this period. One is ill and the other? Well, that's PEJ, my office buddy. She says she's ill too but I know better. Now I have to sit in for her and that's quite a task.

I'm expecting a call that'll help me finish up today's task so I've decided to relax by blogging. I'm also hoping a particular friend of mine would sign in to Y!Mail. There is a serious issue I need to thrash out.

I met this friend of mine last year. We used to take the bus from the same park to the Island everyday... well almost everyday. We had noticed each other but one day when we shared the front seat he decided to say hi. After a few more meetings, we exchanged cards and that was the beginning of our friendship.

We both knew we had a chemistry... now, not that kind of chemistry in which you say to yourself 'if he'll just ask me out, I'll oblige without a fuss', I mean, the type of chemistry in which its just so easy to talk about anything... well, almost anything. We became buddies, riding through Lagos traffic and looking out for each other. For instance, sometimes he'll get to the park minutes earlier and call to find out where I was. If I'm a few minutes away and the bus is still quite empty, he'll reserve the front seat for me (I just love sitting in front, its a lot more comfortable, with leg-room you'll appreciate when you hit traffic).

Over the months, we've gotten to know each other better, we even have mutual friends but that's how far it goes. I am not in a relationship but he has a fiancé and therein lies the root of my present worries...

In as much as I enjoy his company, I am not attracted to him (not physically/sexually/romantically... add all the other words) and he knows this. However, he can't say the same. I noticed this a while back but I didn't want to end the friendship. I'm friends with his fiancé too, and after seeing what I made out of my cousins' weddings, they decided that I'll plan theirs.

Presently, I see them every weekend to fine-tune the wedding plans and him even more often. It is so obvious he's crushing on me heavily and I don't like it one bit. I mean, this guy would be married in two months, isn't his heart supposed to be fixed on his bride and her alone?

It became a bit more worrying yesterday when as we rode home, he said his fiancé told him she was sure he liked me alot but wasn't bothered because she trusts my judgement and blah blah blah.

At first, I was speechless... I just didn't like the sound of it. I imagined myself in her shoes and it felt so wrong. Although, he assured me that it was nothing and that they had talked about it and there were no 'hard feelings', it still felt awkward. I instantly made a mental note to give him space - I was going to make sure we saw less of each other henceforth, except ofcourse when she's around.

As if that wasn't enough for one night, he sends me a work related text later and ends it with 'luv u'...

ehen? oginni love? (what is love)

I've been waiting for him to sign in, we have to iron this thing out ASAP. This is just unacceptable.

The Experience 2010

2010-12-06T16:23:00.000+01:00

'The Experience', a brain child of the House on the Rock Church was held at the Tafawa Balewa Square in Lagos last friday. People of all age brackets and from all works of life left their homes under the same excuse but for different reasons to attend what has now become the biggest gospel concert in Nigeria.

Originally convened by Pastor Paul Adefarasin, the interdenominational concert was well attended, and it was so much fun to spend 11 hours (7pm - 6am) in God's presence (nose grows longer).

Ok... I wasn't there but I kept tabs on the programme via twitter!

Cross Section of the crowd @ the event in 2009 - There was an estimated 500,000 people in attendance

Truth is, like the last 4 editions, I had plans to attend but for some reason, I always ended up somewhere else! This year, it was my bed!

I do not believe in tagging along just cos it feels cool and everyone's doing it. I'll rather go home to my bed than spend a better part of the night fighting to stay awake.

Considering the number of updates that poured in on twitter and facebook while the concert was on, I realised alot of young people are fast becoming journalists of some sort. Hardly is there any event that doesnt get narrated on these social networks. From football matches, to weddings, award shows, even church services; there'll be someone giving minute - by - minute commentary of proceedings.

I may not have experienced 'the Experience' (pun intended) but I marvel at what it is fast becoming. I see pictures and clips of the event and I cant help but notice the 'fashionistas' on parade; they have yet again found a platform to showcase all they bought at Lé Petité Marché.

A colleague of mine decided to attend this year because he wanted to boost his chances of meeting a 'spiritual sister'... different strokes they say!

The worst of them all, I think, is my friend who got her strict father's approval, only to leave the venue for the club with her boyfriend. She says she was only 'maximising her time', but yet, she thinks I'm not very dedicated to gospel things because I have neither been to The Experience nor *Effizy night. KMT.

Picture courtesy www.theexperiencelagos.com

*Effizy night is another gospel concert. It is organised by Daystar Christian Centre

THE GOSPEL OF POLITICS

2010-12-01T16:17:00.000+01:00

It is no longer news that Pastor Tunde Bakare of the Latter Rain Assembly has alleged that he and other members of the Save Nigeria Group (SNG) were offered a $50,000 bribe by President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GEJ).

There have been many counter-allegations, people have asked for the evidence of the initial allegation, others have asked how he came to know the exact figure being handed over. I am still wondering why the others did not blow the whistle and why the clarification that the money was not offered directly by the President came days after.

The more I think about this story, the more I am confused about the actual roles of the men involved and the ones they have decided to play.

1. Pastor Bakare

As a man of God, his primary role is to shephard his flocks to eternal rest in heaven. The calling of a true Pastor as I have come to understand it, is to teach, nurture and chastise his members based on biblical precepts until they are rapturable.

In this Sahara Reporters/ Aso Villa visit drama, he decided to become the voice of the voiceless, an activitst of some sort, fighting to ensure the unborn generation has a safe landing in Nigeria when they finally arrive. I honestly do not see anything wrong in pursuing a good cause, however, I think a man of his calibre MUST be discreet and apply a lot more wisdom where politics is concerned.

IMHO, men of God should stick to their core competence; a foray into politics would only soil their name and put a question mark on their reputation. Pastor Bakare should take a cue from his spiritual mentor/father - Pastor W. F. Kumuyi as well as Pastor E. A. Adeboye. Your role in politics should be enlightening your congregation about their rights and duties as citizen while earnestly praying for the well being of the nation.

2. President GEJ

Since the June 12, 1993 elections and all associated matters especially as regards Late Chief M. K. O. Abiola's denied mandate, the upcoming 2011 elections seems to be the first in which Nigerian's are being unanimous about the choice of a candidate. GEJ seems to be the only one we see (I don't know other parties talk less of their candidates) and would be willing to give a chance. Now to hear allegations of corruption is simply disappointing otherwise known as falling our hand.

To avoid a future occurence, I strongly advice that this particular incidence is investigated and guilty parties duly purnished (that is if you didnt mastermind it). However, if for any reason you assented to this, then #SlapYourself... actually, that'll be a huge betrayal especially for all those artistees who have put their goodwill to use to support your goodluck. Did I hear you say they were paid? Well what of the Niger-Deltans who are looking up to their 'son' for a brighter future?

ASIDE

BTW there's an entertainment package set aside to take care of government guests, this 'care' includes souvenirs, breakfast/lunch/dinner and somethings cash gifts. This obtains not just at Aso Villa but all State houses, High Commissions and other parastatals.

The Matchmaking Birthday Girl

2010-11-29T17:06:00.000+01:00

Welcome back to work y'all. Hope the weekend was groovy? My friend F'Banj turned thirty something on Saturday and she decided to have a small 'thing'. Mehn... the small thing was a big thing oh. First, it became almost like a multiple date, see couples everywhere...

F'Banj is a lot older than I am and most of the attendees were her husband's friends, people with about 5 - 10 years marriage experience. So as you can imagine most of the gists were marriage/family oriented. I had an ear-ful. It was fun sha, except that I came alone and everyone was just asking about 'him'. BTW, why cant people just believe when you tell them you're not seeing anyone at the moment?

Ehen, so the real gist for today is about the stunt my friend tried pulling. Apparently, her husband's childhood friend was in town and he needed to hook him up... you can guess who the victim was. She knows I hate matchmaking but her husband persuaded her... so na so e dey be? My friend just fall my hand for love sake.

The guy's spoken English is to die for, no fake accents, but issues plenty... he is about a decade or more older. The difference is just too much for me jare, especially because he doesn't seem to know anything about my generation. Not music, not fashion, according to him he's passionate about Real Estate... shey na only house matta we go dey yarn? As if that wasn't bad enough, wait for this...

he doesn't believe in God... #EpicFail!

How can?

On a normal day, I wouldn't subscribe to a long distance relationship, then you cap it up by being years older. He doesn't even watch football, or any sports for that matter... ahan... where is the fun in his life then?

That Athiest bit just killed the whole conversation... trust me, I stylishly discharged the brother and moved on to better things, which in this case was... well the cake and dance floor.

I had fun sha, but F'Banj will hear it from me the next time we have our ladies' day out!

I'm just wondering...

2010-11-24T16:35:00.000+01:00

1. Why do people say expect the unexpected?

If you’re anticipating/awaiting/expecting something how then is it classified as unexpected?

2. Why do some people feel the onus falls on them to provide music for a bunch of strangers on the bus? I mean some of us are trying to listen to the news or our favourite songs through our headphones yet one random guy decides to turn on his china phone and disturb us with fuji music.

3. Why don’t parents get midterm break? Why don’t men get maternity leave? Shouldn’t they be there in the first few days to do some running around too?

4. Why do people expect that you’ll automatically add them on Facebook because you have 2 random friends in common?

5. Why is it that I can leave my phone/wallet on my desk in the office and it won’t disappear even after a week but a pen won’t survive a day?

6. Why do bras come in ‘cup’ sizes? As in.... who came up with that idea? What was/were he/she/they ~~sniffing~~ thinking?

7. Why do some people shout at the top of their lungs when answering their call in public?

8. Why do people beg you to follow them on twitter? Is it by force? And when you finally decide to follow back you realise they don’t even tweet that often or at best, they are PROs - PRINCIPAL RETWEETING OFFICERS. SMH

9. Why do people think anything can become a joke once they add lol to it? Imagine someone twitting 'I am so hungry but the only thing I can cook is Indomie, lol'

Why should a twenty something year old African sister laugh out loud at her lack of culinary skills?

10. Why am I even wondering and bothering myself, it’s not like the guilty parties would change after reading this.

Thanks for stopping bye.

Please feel free to let me know the things you wonder about too. #OkBye!

Thankful... notwithstanding.

2010-11-15T15:00:00.000+01:00

Hi y'all,

Its another Monday, the beginning of a week that has promised to be short (Tuesday & Wednesday are public holidays). Hope your weekend was funfilled?

I'm just here, sitting at my desk with not enough to do. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing on this job. Simply put, I'm underutilizing my skills, I know you'ld say I should move on out, trust me, I'm trying!

I did not intend to spend more than 6 months on this job, the plan was to return to school for an M.Sc. I had applied and was offered an admission only to find out on receiving the letter that the Faculty had changed the programme to part-time study because there were only a handful of students seeking full time study, so I declined and decided to keep searching for another job while awaiting the next session. Recruitment process for my dream job takes about a year (that's what we were told), I have since completed 4 stages with just 2 to go. Hopefully before year end, I'll get in!

While I wait, I have to try and be happy on my present job. My colleagues think I'm the luckiest of all,just because I got promoted in record time and I have priority over the pool car. The office allows full internet access all day till when the 'boys' finally decide to go home, dress code is casual smart and lunch break is anytime from noon (meaning I can dash out and shop for 2 hours without consequences).

I work in a male dominated industry hence, I have over 30 male colleagues and 4 female ones of which 2 are bosses. This means that asides from working smart to meet set goals, I also have to deal with different shades and sizes of ego! Year 2008 was wonderful, profit rose by 120% but now we're in huge debts. Like most Nigerian entreprenuers, the bosses squandered all the profits on luxury cars and trips abroad.

While I am not against enjoying the fruits of your labour, I'm of the opinion that ploughing back your earnings into the business would guarantee continual shopping sprees abroad in years to come. Right now, salaries have been cut by 25%, people have been laid off and pressure is continually being mounted on the Business Development Unit where I am. As I think about these things, I just want to scream and complain some more, but then, I remember there are 15 million jobless people in Nigeria... I am grateful for my life!

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B9QADqj2QqtrN2ZhNjI2YjItN2E3OS00ZTUxLWFjNGQtNGQxZDhiY2IxODkx&hl=en

Oleku - I'm feeling, feeling the boy yeah...

2010-11-12T09:37:00.002+01:00

I really do not like Rap music, however for some strange reason I love Jay-Z and I guess whatever it is that got me listening to him was what endeared me to M.I. and the Chocolate city boys. I like when I can dance to the beats of a song even when I don't know the lyrics (yet).

While I still haven't gotten around to knowing all M.I.'s songs, Ice Prince's Oleku has become a mantra since I first heard it in September. Produced by Jesse Jagz and featuring Brymo, this song, amongst others, gets me through traffic everyday. If you still haven't heard it, then click on the link below.