Catching Up

Today, I am just hungry – for food, for knowledge, for work. The settling process in my new office is slow, they say it’s so one doesn’t become overwhelmed too quickly. I thought the honeymoon stage would be over, but no. Apparently, it isn’t. Ironically, I work till 8pm!

I know you all have dropped your jaws right now, I don’t understand it either. My tasks are time consuming not so mentally demanding – yet. I have been spending 14hours at work and I’m not complaining – yet.

I have become some sort of a Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) Champion; my Line Manager (LM) thinks it’s a soft landing while I get acquainted to the modus operandi of the real departmental business. I have also been on the research team, doing a lot of policy tweaking for the group business.

For knowledge, I continually seek. There’s a long list of trainings one can sign up for and I just keep going on endlessly – Credit, Change Management, People Management, Relationships/Marriage, Etiquettes, Salsa, Tango etc. Although, it’s not feasible that I get on all of the courses (there’s real work, meetings and deadlines to deal with) I look forward to getting on as many as I can.

For everyone who’s been asking, the days I spent in Malaysia, Singapore and Dubai have been some of the best days of this year. The different people, languages and religions, the beautiful malls, crappy food and; funny smell fragrances all added to the joys of the trip.

I feel very selfish because I won’t be sharing my pictures, but I hope I’m able to describe my experiences well enough for you to imagine.

I finally broke the jinx, I signed up at the gym! Yours truly is now on the fitness lane, we’ll see how far I can go in the months to come.

Thanks for sticking with me through my NEPA inconsistent appearances on blogosphere, I’m not promising to get better, let’s just join hands and go with the flow.

Special Thanks for the comments on the last post, I’ll get around to the replies soon. I know my sister is in a happy place now. God bless you plenty!

Since I've been gone...

Hi people,

Sorry I’ve been away for a very long time... 2 months to be exact. This is not a real post, more like me on the road trying to distract myself from all the work I should be doing. Quite a lot has happened in the time I’ve been away; I wish I could tell you all of it...

The passing...

My last post was on 25^th July. I was quite happy while writing that post, unfortunately, that day also brought tears. I was on the way home from work when a text announced my sister’s passing.

I was broken, angry, speechless and completely torn apart. The days and weeks after were tough... confusion and pain were two of the emotions I felt. Those who know me say I have still not hit the breaking point and that I am still in denial. I really don’t know, all I’m sure of is that I miss her and a lot of things have changed.

The move...

In my last post, I mentioned being in a happy place and balling... well, that’s because I got another job! It’s a more tasking role in a different industry; the opportunities are mind blowing although there’s a lot of long hours and brain storming sessions.

The new reality...

I’m trying to settle into the new work schedule, although it’s not been easy, the rewards of the time and energy dedicated are motivating. I’m happy about the turn my career has taken, I love my life.

Special thanks to everyone who has come knocking on my online cribs, God bless you real good... and Toinlicious and everyone who’s asking, I am in Asia!!!

Mutual Friend Rescue Marriage

What’s the word for that situation in which you think you have everything figured out and can therefore relax, and then suddenly something comes up and it’s like the reset button is on permanently?! Yeah… if you know it, tell a sister because that’s where I am right now.

I thought I found stability at the end of May, I slept well in June and looked forward to balling in July, then the surprise landed and it’s been a roller coaster ride since then! Don’t go eeya, aww on me… I’m actually enjoying it all, I’m happy even though I see a lot of late nights and early mornings  down the road, it’s what I wanted (I think) and right now I’m not complaining.

Yes… I know those two paragraphs have told you nothing but relax, it will unfold soon enough. Meanwhile, every other thing is still the same, 3^rd mainland bridge is undergoing repairs, I still endure traffic by making up imaginary conversations and scenarios (sometimes), I’m still single and you’re still visiting this url!

As regards my singlehood (bad grammar), someone told me recently that I may be getting too comfortable in that arena; you know, a state where you can afford most things yourself, and where asides God and your family, there’s no one else to be accountable to.

I’ve thought about it long enough to know it’s both true and false; I’m gradually achieving all I’ve dreamt about and unconsciously raising the bar on certain things, however, deep down there, I know I want to be swept off my feet, fall in love, get married and live happily thereafter.

On the other hand, there’s no rush to these things, I therefore wonder why some people are suddenly trying to be more catholic than the pope. In other news, being single is expensive… gist for another day!

Quick question…

How does a mutual friend rescue marriage work? I heard a discussion in which people admitted that they have an arrangement/agreement with a close friend of the opposite sex, under which if at a certain age they were both unmarried, they’ll upgrade their friendship by getting married to each other?

Whether you believe it or not, there are groups of people with this agreement, and although it’s not written (hence not legally binding), they both agreed on a particular age. E.g. Theresa and Thomas have been ‘best-friends-forever’ for awhile and for some reason haven’t had successful relationships with anyone, they would both agree that to save themselves, when they both clock 30 and 33 respectively, they’ll walk down the aisle!

Personally, I think it’s strange. While I wouldn’t knock anyone for decisions they make, I’m curious as to why they both won’t venture into a relationship now if they are that close, and only consider each other good enough as last resort? Isn’t that just a union of pity?

If you’ve got answers for me, or you have such agreement in place, please share.

Finally, if you have the time, check out Chinese freestyle by 2face on youtube or on www.mp3skull.com (it’s the 3^rd song from the bottom of the page), I really don’t understand what was going on there with the language but its 2face… enjoy!

A. S. K.

Welcome back from the land of dreams. The good thing about dreaming is that although there’s minimal consciousness, it isn’t death; hence, you’ll snap out of it and get the opportunity to either make it a reality (depending on the dream) or leave it as a mirage!

In my last post, we journeyed with our mind’s eye, picturing the ideal future. The question however is, how intense is your desire to achieve your dream? Are you doing enough to change your life situation?

Don’t just sit back and wish; it’s time to get up and A. S. K.

A is for ASK... the good book says we do not receive because we have not asked! Ask for what? You may wonder... well, ask for anything and everything you want. I have heard people say, ‘oh, I was surprised he/she could give me, I never expected it at all’; that makes me wonder how the human mind works. How we just imagine we would be denied even without asking.

There’s a popular saying that ‘if you don’t play, then you can’t win’ this further lends credence to the fact that you shouldn’t be shy, scared or pessimistic if you truly desire something. Whether it’s a vacation, salary review or promotion – just ask! You’ve had feelings for that lady but you think she’ll turn you down – step up and ask first! You require mentorship, reference or contacts – brace up and ask before the opportunity passes by!

In asking, it’s important to be specific and strategic. Know what you really want and why you want it; it’s easy to get influence by the crowd (family, friends and foes) and lose sight of what is real. The danger here is you’ll keep asking for what you do not need; to avoid this, know yourself – where you’re coming from and heading to – and ask accordingly. Asking isn’t limited; it’s a verb that works with God and Man.

I want a consultancy job is quite different from I want a job with one of the big four - Specifics

S is for SEEK... when I was younger, my mum would say, P.E.T. go and bring my bag from the room and 8 out of 10 times, I’ll return minutes later without the bag. Now, it wasn’t always that the bag wasn’t in the room but it was probably not in the exact position she mentioned or expected it to be; so little me would quickly look in that position, not find it and rush back to her empty-handed! However, given a few seconds, she’ll go in, fish it out and wonder what was wrong with my eyes.

Now that’s what happens to most of us. We ASK for something, we’re denied or we can’t find it and we give up; forgetting that we can put a little more effort. As a child, my mind would usually be focused on the biscuit/chocolate I was to receive from that bag. I didn’t understand that the bag has to be found first. Likewise, many of us focus on the joys of succeeding without first putting in every effort – financial, spiritual, relationship, behavioural, developmental etc.

You want to reach the pinnacle of your career but you seek not to improve your skills, qualification, network, input etc? Are you kidding me?  No one gets to own/head a responsible, highflying corporation by having a pretty face and being a couch potato! Google, Wikipedia, the Yellow Pages, Twitter, real life people (online and offline), books etc, there are sources on everything under the sun – Seek them!

K is for KNOCK... There has been a lot of negative jokes about the ‘violence takes it by force’ syndrome; however there’s a positive way to use this – substitute violence for determination and resilience. There are people who would never give you what you SEEK until you deliberately ASK them; there are also those whom everyone writes off as proud but would surprise you with their kindness and humility if you’re brave enough to approach. Step away from the popular stand, your goal (and integrity) is all that should matter as you chase your dream.

Ignore the fact that he/she is an acclaimed Cruella de Vil, put up your best smile, activate diplomacy mode, stoop and you’ll conquer!

Have a nice weekend!

Title?... What is the point?!

*sigh*

Its days like this that I pity the homeless, displaced and lost.  It’s been raining in Lagos since the beginning of the week – heavily too – thankfully, there has been no flood (or has there?).

Work’s uninteresting these days – receive notices of bids, run around to get the documents together, attend meetings in-between, follow up with colleagues to ensure every ETD is met, meet submission deadlines, knock them off at the presentation, get the contract and start the process all over again! Oh, I forgot to add get pissed off by colleagues and the She boss!

I’m tired of this script, I want to flip it out and shake it up to be – meeting with client in Manchester, lunch date with my favourite stylist afterwards, a quick stop to see Man Utd beat Chelsea/Arsenal/Man City at Old Trafford, celebrations afterwards, stay up in the hotel room the next day preparing charts and answering calls from my French boss who’s using a dictionary to translate every word. Then pack up my bag and head out to Sao Paolo to represent my office at the BRIC intelligence summit!

If you can't see me with the laptop having lobster, its because you aren't looking with your mind's eye! :P

I identify new opportunities and then the head office has to send in an entire team to set up an administrative office in Rio de Janeiro, for which, of course, I’m head! Fast forward a few months, I’m flying across continent to Milford Sound for a surprise birthday party for the love of my life. *dreamy eyes*

Dear Future Husband, can we add Milford Sound Lodge to the list of honeymoon spots? Thank you.

***Door opens and clients walk in***

 In case you’re still confused, that was me, earlier today, day dreaming as we (my boss and I) sat waiting for the M.D. of a particular company to arrive. My boss couldn’t be bothered about why I was so engrossed with my laptop; so I decided to share with you a little bit of what goes on in my head sometimes.

If it were up to me, I would have been at home, in bed with the remote in one hand, scooping chocolate ice cream with Eminem’s Go to sleep hitting from the stereo and  watching highlights of past  Olympics on TV with no volume! Hmmmm...

If you’re still wandering where I’m going with this post then you’ve missed the point. Blogging doesn’t always have to be serious, it’s Friday and I’ve let my hair down. You should too... afterall, YOLO!

BTW, I couldn’t think of a title so what you see up there is a question and well... the title.

Feel free to tell me a little about your dream job/future in the comment section!

Viva la vida!!!

11 THINGS and LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD

I have been tagged severally for these rotations (isn’t that what they are?). There’s an excuse for not doing it sooner, I have been living in the real world where there are deadlines and contingencies.

Thanks to everyone who tagged me, I can’t remember everyone (covers face) but I remember those who hounded/hunted specifically came knocking on my door Toinlicious and SingleNigerian.

 Now that I’m here, see below:

1.    I love football... make that sports. I instantly become one of the guys on and off season; however, I’ll never go to a viewing centre just to see a match, NEVER!

2.    I love plantain ****PAUSE**** oh, I said it before? Really? Where?

Oh... here right?

That means you know the other things?! Let’s move on then,

The questions are:

1.    Last book I read: Insights to help you survive Peaks and Valleys by T.D. Jakes (It’s been a busy year for me, I have been reading this book for weeks now, not because I am that slow but because to really survive peaks and valleys you have to drop the book and actively pursue goals... and I have been doing that)

2. If I could listen to any song for the rest of my life, right now it would be Each Tear by Mary J. Blige (it spoke to me in one of those phases and I have refused to let it go)

3. Countries visited asides from my awesome country Nigeria would be NONE... yet!  (soon, I’ll set out to explore the world)

4. If I could have any job in the world with all the resources I need, I would be a Counselor/Teacher. I just find peace and fulfillment in making others feel better!

5. Why do I blog? I started because I wanted to improve on my writing. However, it’s beyond that now. I have realized that with this e-house of mine I can achieve Pareto Optimality!

6.  How old am I?  Old enough to achieve any and everything I set my heart to (with the God factor ofcourse) and to take responsibility for my (re/in)actions.

7. My favourite part of the opposite sex would be the brain, there’s just something sexy about a brilliant/witty/intelligent man!

8. When was the last time I had relations? Please what does this mean? I wouldn’t like to assume I know what you were trying to ask so, my answer is, I’m not an only child. I have a closely knit nuclear family and a large extended family comprising of some gorgeous people I still haven’t met and some dramatic ones I don’t look forward to meeting. So there you have it – my relations!

9. My least favourite food would be Pounded Yam. Infact I have NEVER eaten it!

10. Do I have any pets?  Only in my name

11. One thing I have been dying to tell you? Oh yes... Jesus still saves!

****THE END... well, until I found out I didn’t answer SingleNigerian’s questions, so here we go...

1. Who started this thing biko? SN, let me know when you find out!

2. What drives/motivates/pushes you in life the possibility of achieving that which is termed impossible

3. If you could pick one place on earth to be at the moment you answer this question, who/where will it be Nygard Cay in the Bahamas

4. What is your favourite blog, top blog online (Don’t lie, God is watching you) I don’t have a favourite, none provides a full doze of everything I move around to get!

5. If God were to close his eyes for 10 hours and grant you a hall pass, what would you do with it? Still thinking... what would a single girl do with a hall pass? Especially one who calculates the long term implications of her actions... forget it, that thing wasn’t created for everyone!

6. What makes you happy? (If you tell me God, I will swear for you. I said what, not who) SUCCESS

7. Do you have a daughter? If yes, how old? NO

8. Would you let your daughter marry my son? Keep in touch, I’ll revert in about 3 decades or less from now

9. What is the one thing you wish for more than anything else. To make heaven, one shouldnt live in Nigeria  on earth and still end up in hell!

10. At a scale of Hulk to worker ant, what do you do when you are angry? Fox! I strategize on ways to prove I’m above all the crap thrown at me – NOTE: this doesn’t include revenge!

11. What is your favourite animal? Hen, for obvious reasons!
    
    
    
    
    
    Everyone has been tagged, so if you haven’t blogged for a long time, 
    jump on this and make a comeback!
     

Create your own rules!

‘At your age, I had had you and all your siblings’!

By now you should be married with kids or in the least, have a steady relationship’!

‘You shouldn’t have to work for someone all your life, many of your classmates are now business owners’!

Words…

Words that depress some and make others cry. From mothers to peers and even strangers; people drawing the schedule for the lives of others!

WARNING: Do not use my watch to set your time!

There is enough pressure in the world, enough to make you lose your mind if you’re not determined. No one should ever be subjected to the catch up race. We all have goals we strive to achieve; asides from God and hard work, all other factors are relative.

It is sad to see how many people are driven off the cliff by standards set by a group of mostly faceless people. Young men and women trying so hard to conform just so they can fit into an already disjointed society!

We must look within ourselves and find what truly makes us happy and fulfilled. Most times, our friends and families do not understand what our innermost desires are. Do not be surprised if their actions, inactions or reactions all aim either consciously or unconsciously at sabotaging your goals.

Keeping up with the Joneses only leads to an endless rat race, the rat eventually gets eaten up by the cat! It is important to be abreast with what obtains in one’s area(s) of interest, infact identifying, understudying and learning from others is highly encouraged but know where to draw the line.

No two persons are exactly the same; while some go through life with ease, getting everything on a platter of gold; others have to put in a lot more effort. In the end, victory is all that matters but be careful of whom you allow to influence you.

No rule says you must be married at 30, girls are children too, we can’t all be size 10, not everyone would succeed as an entrepreneur, there’s life outside the oil industry, owning a house is good; but for some, renting an apartment is better! There is no universal scale for measuring success, or is there?

Traditions are belief systems created by a few people and transmitted from generation to generation, times are changing; don’t let irrelevant things hold you down! Success is achieved only after some rules (mostly norms) are broken, heck, some rules are made to be broken!

Serve God, work hard, improve your skills and personality, make good friends, be true to yourself and watch all things fall in place in the end.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Who has seen Jacob?!

*Disclaimer: the errors in this post were caused by human nature and technology. Blogger needs a mobile app and I need to sleep!

So I decided to attend a midweek service recently, I've been feeling bad about being a Sunday-Sunday Christian but it’s all because my boss won't let me close at 4pm.  So I always end up getting there after the last amen, usually between the announcements and people's retreat to their cars.

I was out of town visiting my family recently and I decided to go to church - their church. Now I've always known the service schedule but I wasn't aware things had changed a little, so off I went and ended up in the 'indigenous service', well that's not exactly the name but the deal was, different services were held simultaneously using the 3 major Nigerian languages – Igbo, Hausa and Yoruba and one pidgin session.

At the entrance the ushers helped me choose the right auditorium; apparently the essence was to teach people to read the bible and pray in their mother tongue. So with my English bible, I settled in, ready to prove to myself my B in the language at WAEC was well earned.

All was going well with my note taking until the preacher asked us to turn to Jacob Chapter 3! I know all the books of the bible off script and there’s definitely no Jacob on the list or so I thought.

I waited for him to correct the slip but he said it again and again; I quickly looked around and when no one was looking worried, peeping into their neighbour's bible or  murmuring, I knew the exact reason why that B wasn't an A grade!

Officially, I was stranded. I quietly recited the bible books to be sure Jacob had not sneaked into the midst of the 66 other books while I wasn’t in church! After almost ripping my bible looking for Isaac’s favourite son, I heard him read what translated to “Out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing...” in English. At that point I knew the book of James was where I should have been all the while! *whew*

How couldn't I have known all this that? Anyway, I've decided this would never happen again so I'm taking time out to get friendly with a Yoruba bible. BTW if you know any apps for bibles in Nigerian local dialect, do share. Thanks.

Finally the preacher said we think in our first language / mother tongue and the brain translates into the lingua franca for the mouth to deliver, I found that funny but then it’s probably why you hear things like 'who open the door down?', what's doing you?

Shout out to everyone who is not ashamed of their mother tongue!

Source: http://www.mothertongueblogs.com/

Today In History...

Hi people,

Happy *sneezes* excuse me, *sneezes again*

Its Good Friday hope you all have had a beautiful day thus far *sneezes*

So, this day in history: Judas Iscariot had concluded plans to plant that evil kiss, I just wonder if he remembered to brush before leaving home that morning?!