A. S. K.

Welcome back from the land of dreams. The good thing about dreaming is that although there’s minimal consciousness, it isn’t death; hence, you’ll snap out of it and get the opportunity to either make it a reality (depending on the dream) or leave it as a mirage!

In my last post, we journeyed with our mind’s eye, picturing the ideal future. The question however is, how intense is your desire to achieve your dream? Are you doing enough to change your life situation?

Don’t just sit back and wish; it’s time to get up and A. S. K.

A is for ASK... the good book says we do not receive because we have not asked! Ask for what? You may wonder... well, ask for anything and everything you want. I have heard people say, ‘oh, I was surprised he/she could give me, I never expected it at all’; that makes me wonder how the human mind works. How we just imagine we would be denied even without asking.

There’s a popular saying that ‘if you don’t play, then you can’t win’ this further lends credence to the fact that you shouldn’t be shy, scared or pessimistic if you truly desire something. Whether it’s a vacation, salary review or promotion – just ask! You’ve had feelings for that lady but you think she’ll turn you down – step up and ask first! You require mentorship, reference or contacts – brace up and ask before the opportunity passes by!

In asking, it’s important to be specific and strategic. Know what you really want and why you want it; it’s easy to get influence by the crowd (family, friends and foes) and lose sight of what is real. The danger here is you’ll keep asking for what you do not need; to avoid this, know yourself – where you’re coming from and heading to – and ask accordingly. Asking isn’t limited; it’s a verb that works with God and Man.

I want a consultancy job is quite different from I want a job with one of the big four - Specifics

S is for SEEK... when I was younger, my mum would say, P.E.T. go and bring my bag from the room and 8 out of 10 times, I’ll return minutes later without the bag. Now, it wasn’t always that the bag wasn’t in the room but it was probably not in the exact position she mentioned or expected it to be; so little me would quickly look in that position, not find it and rush back to her empty-handed! However, given a few seconds, she’ll go in, fish it out and wonder what was wrong with my eyes.

Now that’s what happens to most of us. We ASK for something, we’re denied or we can’t find it and we give up; forgetting that we can put a little more effort. As a child, my mind would usually be focused on the biscuit/chocolate I was to receive from that bag. I didn’t understand that the bag has to be found first. Likewise, many of us focus on the joys of succeeding without first putting in every effort – financial, spiritual, relationship, behavioural, developmental etc.

You want to reach the pinnacle of your career but you seek not to improve your skills, qualification, network, input etc? Are you kidding me?  No one gets to own/head a responsible, highflying corporation by having a pretty face and being a couch potato! Google, Wikipedia, the Yellow Pages, Twitter, real life people (online and offline), books etc, there are sources on everything under the sun – Seek them!

K is for KNOCK... There has been a lot of negative jokes about the ‘violence takes it by force’ syndrome; however there’s a positive way to use this – substitute violence for determination and resilience. There are people who would never give you what you SEEK until you deliberately ASK them; there are also those whom everyone writes off as proud but would surprise you with their kindness and humility if you’re brave enough to approach. Step away from the popular stand, your goal (and integrity) is all that should matter as you chase your dream.

Ignore the fact that he/she is an acclaimed Cruella de Vil, put up your best smile, activate diplomacy mode, stoop and you’ll conquer!

Have a nice weekend!

Title?... What is the point?!

*sigh*

Its days like this that I pity the homeless, displaced and lost.  It’s been raining in Lagos since the beginning of the week – heavily too – thankfully, there has been no flood (or has there?).

Work’s uninteresting these days – receive notices of bids, run around to get the documents together, attend meetings in-between, follow up with colleagues to ensure every ETD is met, meet submission deadlines, knock them off at the presentation, get the contract and start the process all over again! Oh, I forgot to add get pissed off by colleagues and the She boss!

I’m tired of this script, I want to flip it out and shake it up to be – meeting with client in Manchester, lunch date with my favourite stylist afterwards, a quick stop to see Man Utd beat Chelsea/Arsenal/Man City at Old Trafford, celebrations afterwards, stay up in the hotel room the next day preparing charts and answering calls from my French boss who’s using a dictionary to translate every word. Then pack up my bag and head out to Sao Paolo to represent my office at the BRIC intelligence summit!

If you can't see me with the laptop having lobster, its because you aren't looking with your mind's eye! :P

I identify new opportunities and then the head office has to send in an entire team to set up an administrative office in Rio de Janeiro, for which, of course, I’m head! Fast forward a few months, I’m flying across continent to Milford Sound for a surprise birthday party for the love of my life. *dreamy eyes*

Dear Future Husband, can we add Milford Sound Lodge to the list of honeymoon spots? Thank you.

***Door opens and clients walk in***

 In case you’re still confused, that was me, earlier today, day dreaming as we (my boss and I) sat waiting for the M.D. of a particular company to arrive. My boss couldn’t be bothered about why I was so engrossed with my laptop; so I decided to share with you a little bit of what goes on in my head sometimes.

If it were up to me, I would have been at home, in bed with the remote in one hand, scooping chocolate ice cream with Eminem’s Go to sleep hitting from the stereo and  watching highlights of past  Olympics on TV with no volume! Hmmmm...

If you’re still wandering where I’m going with this post then you’ve missed the point. Blogging doesn’t always have to be serious, it’s Friday and I’ve let my hair down. You should too... afterall, YOLO!

BTW, I couldn’t think of a title so what you see up there is a question and well... the title.

Feel free to tell me a little about your dream job/future in the comment section!

Viva la vida!!!

Create your own rules!

‘At your age, I had had you and all your siblings’!

By now you should be married with kids or in the least, have a steady relationship’!

‘You shouldn’t have to work for someone all your life, many of your classmates are now business owners’!

Words…

Words that depress some and make others cry. From mothers to peers and even strangers; people drawing the schedule for the lives of others!

WARNING: Do not use my watch to set your time!

There is enough pressure in the world, enough to make you lose your mind if you’re not determined. No one should ever be subjected to the catch up race. We all have goals we strive to achieve; asides from God and hard work, all other factors are relative.

It is sad to see how many people are driven off the cliff by standards set by a group of mostly faceless people. Young men and women trying so hard to conform just so they can fit into an already disjointed society!

We must look within ourselves and find what truly makes us happy and fulfilled. Most times, our friends and families do not understand what our innermost desires are. Do not be surprised if their actions, inactions or reactions all aim either consciously or unconsciously at sabotaging your goals.

Keeping up with the Joneses only leads to an endless rat race, the rat eventually gets eaten up by the cat! It is important to be abreast with what obtains in one’s area(s) of interest, infact identifying, understudying and learning from others is highly encouraged but know where to draw the line.

No two persons are exactly the same; while some go through life with ease, getting everything on a platter of gold; others have to put in a lot more effort. In the end, victory is all that matters but be careful of whom you allow to influence you.

No rule says you must be married at 30, girls are children too, we can’t all be size 10, not everyone would succeed as an entrepreneur, there’s life outside the oil industry, owning a house is good; but for some, renting an apartment is better! There is no universal scale for measuring success, or is there?

Traditions are belief systems created by a few people and transmitted from generation to generation, times are changing; don’t let irrelevant things hold you down! Success is achieved only after some rules (mostly norms) are broken, heck, some rules are made to be broken!

Serve God, work hard, improve your skills and personality, make good friends, be true to yourself and watch all things fall in place in the end.

Have a wonderful weekend!

No Rain on My Parade!

Hi Lovelies,

It’s the last day of the first month of 2012, Happy New Year!!!

Yes, I know I’ve been MIA for quite awhile, there has been so many issues to deal with within every 24hours – work, state of the economy (Nigeria), traffic, personal development programme etc. I haven’t had the time to catch up with you all – my apologies.

This week started on a bright note for me, hope rising in many directions, I’m just happy for where my life is heading right now, no one, not even the rogue who made away with my phone this morning can rain on my parade! My contacts, my notes, bookmarks, devotional articles, semi-finished blog posts etc all gone.

My colleague says I’m too calm for someone who was robbed; what should I do? Some people lost their lives trying to get to work via the same route! In case you’re wondering, I’m referring to the chaos caused by hoodlums (a.k.a area boys/agbero) around the High Court (Igbosere Street) and Moloney area of Lagos Island. Kam Salem House (Police Headquarters) was only a stone through away, this didn’t stop them from shattering windscreens, burning shops, breaking bottles and attacking people with machete.

I’m alive and unhurt that’s why I have a story to write. Every other thing is secondary.

I’m going to need a few days to catch up, but I’ll be back, see you soon!

P.S: I would start receiving Valentine gifts from tomorrow, 1^st February. Please send me an email or a DM on twitter if you do not have or have misplaced my mailing address. *big grin*

Do not allow HORO to SCOPE you!

Have you noticed the new addiction in cyberspace? It’s the horoscope!  Years ago, you could have bet people just read those things in the Vanguard, Daily Times, Concord (what happened to these papers BTW? Gist for another day) laughed at them and moved on!

It’s quite different these days, not a few people now make it a/an daily hourly ritual to find out what the sun/moon is saying about their lives! Correct me if I’m wrong but since when did we become planet watchers, psychics and astrologers?

Before you argue about how right or wrong the predictions are, have you looked around  long enough to find out that as different as our DNAs are there are behavioural similarities we exhibit as we cohabit together either as family members, friends or even colleagues?

Similarities in our morals/belief systems; cutting across tribes and religions? Certain things happen based on pure coincidence. If I detest boastful people and you do too, it’s probably because we were brought up to understand the benefits of humility, why then would you sing praises to the astrologer who says it’s because you’re a Gemini or an Aquarius? For some of you who took psychology classes or even those who read Tim LaHaye’s ‘Why you act the way you do’ didn’t you deduce that the temperaments have features that cut across one another? Hence, the fact that you’re Sanguine doesn’t make you less of an ambitious person! Aren’t those temperaments actually developed through a combination of family background, upbringing, education, exposure etc? Why then do some people look to the moon and stars for instructions on how to live?





Young lady, that guy’s got a bright future not to talk of being TDH + more; why wouldn’t you date him? Ohhhhhh, Cancer moon opposes Pluto hence your Aries body can’t mix with a Pisces loving? #EpicFail! When your younger sister’s last child starts calling you grandma, the mist would clear from your glasses eye!

Let’s not get carried away by the tides of foolishness, if you must read those things, do, for the fun of it, don’t let them dictate what you can achieve or who you are; afterall you and I can cook up stories inspired by the many Hollywood movies we’ve seen. Live, don’t just exist and stop allowing ‘horo’ to ‘scope’ you (if you know what I mean)!

Finally, Librans like to make money, fall in love and live happily ever after! *yinmu* who doesn’t?!

*images: http://www.corbisimages.com/

Expatriate in the Building

I really do not know what the situation is like in other parts of the world but I have evaluated quite a few businesses and can conclude that our customer care/service delivery in this part of the planet is distasteful. From the roadside hawkers to our telecoms service providers, the banks, the hospitals and unfortunately even in the hospitality business.

The (mostly) women who handle this positions surprisingly share the same characteristics – ill tempered, uncouth and impatient! Only a few of them deliver impressive service that make you want to get familiar with them. Majority simply treat you like they are doing you a huge favour by responding to your enquiries/complaints.

I got one of such treatments recently at an industry conference. Add the above traits to male chauvinist behaviour and you’ll have the description of the protocol officer!

BTW, if you (or anyone you know) work for that airline that offers cheap rates for domestic flights booked in advance online, kindly tell the management team that the services are crap. The only reason we still patronise you is because we are Ijebus like to support the proudly Nigerian initiative. Soon, we may get tired of your cancellations, delays and saucy helpdesk operators and embrace Virginity!

I arrived early to get my accreditation done, I had all the documents as stated on the invite but for some reason, Mr Protocol Officer couldn’t find my name on the list! I wouldn’t have been angry if he had offered to do a thorough check and rectify the error, but instead he concluded I was impersonating! What rubbish!

I had never met the man before yet he believed I was trying to impersonate someone! So I’m subjected to series of ‘irrelevant’ questions... ‘What is your name? Middle name? Spell your surname? Who registered you for this conference? May I point out that at this point he was holding on to all my documents, driver’s license inclusive; guess he was trying to figure out I was really trying to use usurp someone’s slot!

Tired of standing and stretching over the counter, I sat and began fiddling with twitter, only to be jolted back to reality about an hour later! Mr Protocol Officer announced he’ll be closing in about 45minutes but still couldn’t find my name.

‘So what do you suggest?’ I asked

‘Madam, I’ve tried my best, you didn’t register, what do you want me to do about it’, he said, attracting enough attention and scattering my documents all over the.

At this point, I’m thinking, should I ask to see a superior officer or make a call to the help line on the acknowledgement mail; before I could decide, an elderly woman intervened, speaking in Yoruba, she reprimanded him for making no efforts to get me accredited to which he responded also in Yoruba: don’t mind all these small small girls, I know the type of people that come to this conference, they are top people (hiss).

You can only imagine how I felt, having someone say such about you in a language you understand! I totally ignored, leaving the elderly woman to deal with him. Minutes later his supervisor made an appearance. Nice lady I must say.

Within minutes she searched through all the lists and there it was. Apparently, they had 2 lists; one for participants from different organisations within the country and the other for Expatriates (prospective investors).

Now, the truth is, my name doesn’t give an insight into what tribe I belong, infact, it appears entirely foreign; but that’s no excuse. That I was registered in their books as one of the expatriates is a sign of inefficiency; my forms clearly state my nationality.

Finally, my pass was handed over but I wasn’t ready to leave just yet. I needed to have the last laugh so I turned to the supervisor and told her how she needed to have her staff trained. I told her they needed to know that not every young woman is sleeping her way to the top. A few of us are working hard and getting recognised for our efforts, bla bla bla... and for maximum effects, I said it all in Yoruba; imagine the look on Mr Protocol Officer’s face, dang! All he did was stare.

15 Minutes on the Toilet seat

Dear God,

I trust and believe in you. The scientists have said all sorts of rubbish about you but that’s their problem. It’s funny how they can never agree on something real; even when one of them got a ‘revelation’ to buttress YOUR existence, they still didn’t believe, well a lot of them are high on substances so *shrug*

I had fun in June but right now I’m kinda broke and that’s because the bosses have travelled again without handing over our pay check. The thing is, there was fathers’ day celebration and then you put my sisters’ birthdays 11days apart and so I spent a little more than I should have. Could you please touch their hearts and make them do the right thing? Thank you.

Heavenly father, I’m grateful for all you’ve done for me lately, the tears and disappointment of February has since given way to this new hope I have. I’m happier now, not because I have all I want but because you’ve shown me that you’re working on my case.

I’m happy because now I have really let go of the pains caused me by my ex and the Human Resources Manager.  I’m grateful for the lessons I learnt, who would have thought I would be helping the HRM with her school work? I knew I had forgiven her, I guess the forgetting part is now accomplished. I wish you could help me to reach out to her a little more, to teach her how to be kind to others, to make her understand that she doesn’t have to be mean, inconsiderate and miserable just because she’s single and 30+.

I need you now more than ever before, first to help unlock my heart because I know you have the Master key. After the last experience, I locked it up and put the key away, now I can’t find it because I’ve rearranged so much and the only thing I see is work, movies, food, health and books.

Secondly, I know I once said I was tired of chasing my dreams and that I wanted them to just tell me where they were heading so we could meet up there. Well, I apologise because that came out wrong, what I wanted to say was I am sure you’re with me on the journey and that I know I won’t miss the path once I keep following your lead. Please help me not to stray.

Lastly, I need to see some signs, ones that won’t be confusing, so I can know for sure if this new friendship is what I think it is. If it isn’t, please help me to pick the vital lessons and focus on to what is important. I’m asking because he’s fast becoming a Weapon of Mass Distraction and I do not want to lose sleep over a flash in the pan.

Thank you for the grace and favour, I have to get back to work now, I will talk to you later.

Amen.

This was my posture while writing this post.

Planking (Laying Out) My Thoughts

Disclaimer: If any part of this post is ambiguous or completely missing it’s because I’m blogging on the move, while trying to process official and personal thoughts.

It’s been a while since I last came here,

I almost don’t know why or maybe I just don’t care.

I am beginning to face the truth; I really can’t stay away forever,

Sweet or bitter, I’m ready for whatever,

If I get hurt I know I’ll recover.

It isn’t so bad all the time or maybe it is,

I have been hiding for so long,

Behind the wall I put up so strong.

It’s time to break it down and give it a try,

But wouldn’t I be creating room for people to pry?

 

*** 2 meetings and 3 hours later ***

 

The Israelites were so lucky *sigh*

There were simple signs everywhere,

Commandments on tablets to guide them,

Why can’t it be that easy anyway?

I’m tired of trying to figure it all out,

Maybe it’s time to take the plunge again,

If I succeed you all will be happy for me,

If I fall, I’ll pick something up and rise again,

Yes I’ll rise, I’ll rise, and I’ll always rise!

 

*** Back to the office ***

The world seems to be experiencing momentary imbalance the offshoot of which is seasonal madness expressed in different form. While I was trying to rap my head around windeck and comprehend Cabo Snoop’s style, he shot us with Prakatatumba. I still think that dance is a mockery of a feat of epilepsy; anyway, you all haven’t seen the last of crazy things.

This morning I woke up to ‘Planking’ all over my timeline. There’s no definition for it. It’s neither a sport nor an exercise. I guess people just need to burn excess energy. But then I hear it’s the Australians that came up with the name after the English invented it so I can imagine their brain was freezing over at the time.  For everyone who’s still wondering what Planking is...

*Pictures Courtesy Various Followers on Twitter

Private Space: Keep Off

Sometimes I just want to put up a sign saying 'Private Space, Keep Off', probably put it up on the wall just above my chair in the office; unfortunately, there's no assurance people would respect it.

They seem to be everywhere these days. People whose stock in trade is to butt into other people's business. A lady has a right to her space, her time, her privacy.

The other day I rearranged my drawer at work. I moved the provisions to the top drawer; that's the one with the key. Files now occupy the last drawer.

Prior to now I had my stash of provision in the last drawer - biscuits, milk, sugar, corn flakes, cashew nuts etc. They were there to save me from starving on those days I get too busy to step out for lunch. I would freely share these things with those who ask, however recently, some people have been helping themselves to it just cause they know where to find it. They've become so confident that they emptied a 450g of milk in the 2 weeks I was away from work! Isn't taking someone's belonging without their consent stealing???

Provision pilfering is the least of it, there are space invaders everywhere - in church, even in the family. Big aunties and uncles who 'care' so much all they want to do is hook you up with one of the 'old boys'' son just so they can brag about it later! How dare they reel out the story of my life just because they were opportuned to be there when I was born?!

Oh Sister Church leader, yes you're the parish pastor's wife and your ministry involves caring for all; have you ever wondered if I’m in a relationship with someone outside the Parish???

If you're not sure you should have asked instead of assuming my love life needed intervention! So you've decided to 'collabo' with your husband and you think the cell leader is right for me? Haaa..... Good choice, he's a 'loaded', spirit-filled brother after all; but shouldn't you have told me before giving him my 'case file'?

Ahem... Bro Spirikoko a.k.a Cell/House fellowship leader; but why now? They gave you my number and you just called and started 'famzing'. Its 2011 oh and the rules have changed; you should have considered the fact that we've never said a word to each other in over 10years we've been at this parish; shouldn't the close to 20years age difference set off an alarm in your head? Anyways, just so you know, I’m not in need of a sugar daddy; please pass the message across to Parish Pastor and his wife!

These space invaders need to lose my contact fast, it’s becoming appalling.

Rant over, I’ve got to get back to work, have a fulfilling week y’all!

Happy Children's Day!!!

Children! Children!! (Yes, aunty)

Eating Sugar (No, aunty)

Open your mouth (Haaaaaaaa...)

We are H – A – P – P – Y (2x)

We know we are, we are sure we are,

We are H – A – P – P- Y, HAPPY!

All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small,

All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all.

Each little flower that opens, each little bird that sings,

He made their glowing colours, HE made their tiny wings.

Who stole the meat from the cooking pot?

(Number 1 stole the meat from the cooking pot)

Oh me? (Yes, you!)

It couldn’t be (Then who?)

Number 10, stole the meat from the cooking pot!

Hmmm... I remember the sweet old days. When Nasco Wafers and Capri Sonne made frequent appearances on my mum’s shopping list. I can’t forget Okin Biscuit in a hurry... how I love the rectangular shaped one... bliss!

Sometimes, I want to go back to being a child. Like today when the rain just wouldn’t let up! If I was still a child, I’d be home on holiday, watching Voltrone or Sesame Street while building pyramids with my Choco Milo and forming rainbow with my Gogo (Smarties). I miss those days.

Do you remember Cortina shoes? If you don’t then it means you wore Kito with your knee length socks! tehehe

BTW, does Mr. Sada still live in Sapele? You remember him don’t you? Yes, the farmer in Macmillian Book 3. Hopefully, Simbi would have changed her hairstyle by now.

How many of your old books do you still have? Do you remember Queen Prima, My Book of Bible Stories, Songs of Praise, Brighter Grammar and Students’ Companion? I never liked Larcombs, how can a book meant to teach children maths be so boring? No illustrations, no pictures, just black and white all through... unfortunately, we had to use all its volumes!

Did you play ten – ten and suwe? What about catcher and after-round-one? Well I didn’t because I was too orobo cute and classy for such. I had a jump rope instead, and during inter house sports, you can bet I was always the queen of the house. Why wouldn’t I, when everyone knew I couldn’t run to save my life was such a charming little lady *wink*

Growing up was so much fun, we drank Tandi Guaraná, Dr. Pepper, Afri Cola, Fanta Ginger Ale etc. There was also Planta, Cadbury Chocolate Spread, Fan Ice (a.k.a Yoghurt), Walls Ice cream and SAMCO, Bubblegum.

BTW, what’s the lowest price you remember buying Coca Cola?

We watched Fèyí kó gbón, Òwúrò lojó (Joke Silva), Tele Match, Rent a ghost, Frank Spencer, Dr. Who, Fragile Rock, Jumbo, Kiddies Vision 101, Speak Out.

 

Lastly, do you remember:

All stand, greet!

Good morning sir, you are welcome to our class, may God bless you sir!

Happy Children’s day to the young and young at heart!

Blogfest: Lessons from the A - Z Challenge

If you do blog rounds as often as some people *side eye, then you probably would have noticed there’s a blog fest going on. It’s called the A – Z challenge. If you join in the fest, you’re expected to put up posts using the alphabets of the English language in chronological order. When you’re done, you’d have put up 26 posts... impressive huh? Yes, and it’s all for the month of April.

Thumbs up to Myne Whitman and Great 9ja Man. They’ve been consistent thus far – a round of applause for them please... *Oya, you two, take a bow and pose for the cameras!

Okay, Okay, enough of the paparazzi...

While trying to keep up with them as they take this challenge, I wonder if they realise it’s also a test and if they complete it within the time frame, they would have proven to us how consistent and dedicated to a cause they can be.

In life, it’s usually not the achievements that come with prices and plaques that bring the greatest fulfilment, but the ones that impact the lives of others and bring joys that cannot be fully described by mere spoken words.

For some reason also, I’ve patiently waited for some letters, namely, Q and X. Not because there aren’t words starting with them but because they have reduced frequency of usage.

Thus far, while I await the post with X, I’ve been impressed by Q.

The lesson in this for me is that, in life, some characters would be passive; this is not enough reason to underestimate their value. By characters, I mean people, skills/abilities and talents.

There would be that one classmate/colleague/neighbour that isn’t exactly the most eloquent or outspoken in the group. Slow down, be patient and find out what makes them special, you’ll never know what you can learn. While at it, discretion is needed so you do not end up befriending the neighbourhood psycho or even infringing on the person’s private space.

Finally, if you look within yourself, there’s that talent, an innate ability you carry around untapped. It might just be the link to that big breakthrough you’ve been praying for and in the end you’ll find out it’s been in you all along.

Asides

ü  I wonder what’s going on with ROC NAIJA. I know he stopped blogging a long time ago but he still did his blog rounds until recently. I miss his comments.

ü  I miss QMONEY too, I guess taking care of a baby is a full time job.

ü  For a compilation of pidgin proverbs, if you haven’t already, please visit NAIJAMUM.

ü  I found out Sugarkingg moved his hilarious self from www.sugarking-1.blogspot.com to www.theredcapchiefs.tumblr.com. Check out his beats too, music production has gone from hobby to business for him.