Certainly, Its Over!

Can someone please get me an application that’ll scribble down my thoughts through the day so I can posts frequently? Please...

There’s always a new idea for a blog post every now and then, but I’m probably in some meeting, walking through the crowded streets of Lagos Island or half asleep. The workload during the day is overwhelming I hardly have time to eat let alone prepare a proper post; I know this is bad blogging behaviour but what do I do?

My day starts as early as my eyelids open – put that somewhere between 4am and the next o’clock – and between that time and 10.30pm, I’m involved in one energy sapping or mentally tasking activity or the other.

I want to stop blogging all together because I’m not sure this workload is going anywhere until at least August next year but I love it here; so again I ask, what should I do?

In the midst of all this I realise the reason this is proving tough is because of the OVER syndrome. Once upon a time, I was in a group discussing SWOT analysis. I mentioned that my weakness was the perfectionist syndrome and everyone practically laughed and ‘commended’ me. I didn’t think too seriously of it until a friend recently mentioned it. For me, it’s okay to ignore the comments of random people but when someone who should know you a little more points out a trait – in this case a flaw, then work must be done.

It is important to be thorough/detailed/meticulous at work and in daily decision making, but when the word ‘OVER’ (overanalyse, over scrutinize etc) shows up too many times, there may be trouble. While I do not have problems with meeting deadlines and producing excellent results, I am almost never satisfied with the face value of anything. I always want to think decisions through over and again, creating many more options than needed.

A clear example is the previous paragraph, one of the words in red would have sufficed, but my brain thought up about 5, I ended up typing those 3 just so you see what I mean. The end result is a body that never gets enough rest because its operating system (the brain) is constantly multitasking!

Going forward, I plan not to ‘over – anything’... well, as long as it’s not a life-changing/destiny-altering decision; I can’t jump right in just like that or what do you think?

 

Note: SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.

No Rain on My Parade!

Hi Lovelies,

It’s the last day of the first month of 2012, Happy New Year!!!

Yes, I know I’ve been MIA for quite awhile, there has been so many issues to deal with within every 24hours – work, state of the economy (Nigeria), traffic, personal development programme etc. I haven’t had the time to catch up with you all – my apologies.

This week started on a bright note for me, hope rising in many directions, I’m just happy for where my life is heading right now, no one, not even the rogue who made away with my phone this morning can rain on my parade! My contacts, my notes, bookmarks, devotional articles, semi-finished blog posts etc all gone.

My colleague says I’m too calm for someone who was robbed; what should I do? Some people lost their lives trying to get to work via the same route! In case you’re wondering, I’m referring to the chaos caused by hoodlums (a.k.a area boys/agbero) around the High Court (Igbosere Street) and Moloney area of Lagos Island. Kam Salem House (Police Headquarters) was only a stone through away, this didn’t stop them from shattering windscreens, burning shops, breaking bottles and attacking people with machete.

I’m alive and unhurt that’s why I have a story to write. Every other thing is secondary.

I’m going to need a few days to catch up, but I’ll be back, see you soon!

P.S: I would start receiving Valentine gifts from tomorrow, 1^st February. Please send me an email or a DM on twitter if you do not have or have misplaced my mailing address. *big grin*

Happy Holidays

They had just returned from the Sallah break that day, it was early September and a rainy day too, the girl from the adjoining office in her usual loquacious nature had come in to gist. Minutes later, they set out to Marina. Lady T wasn’t too eager to make the 15minutes walk but conceded only after her boss called in to say he would turn in late.

Off they went to the General Post Office and then the Bank; while she moved from desk to desk exchanging pleasantries, Lady T sat quietly in one corner doing all she could to avoid the stare of the afro spotting Teller behind the counter. Moments later they were back on the streets making their way back to the office when shouts of excuse me rang through; it was the afro guy from the bank.

Good morning, he said, almost breathless from the chase.

Yes, good morning, she responded in giggles.

Excuse me, can I talk to your friend, he asked, looking across her shoulder towards Lady T who was standing within earshot.

Me? Came her reply, a little bemused too.

Yes, you. I just want to introduce myself, do you work around here?

Getting a little uneasy she responded in the negative, gave him a rather vague excuse and began the return journey to the office, leaving her partner behind. Later that evening, an uninvited guest showed up at the office – it was him again, afro guy! That snitch had told him where she would be!

Against her wish, he walked her halfway home that day, telling her his life history and how he liked her appearance and would want to date marry her. Many more after-office-hours strolls later, defying the Aguda Vs Saro marriage taboo myth, they tied the knot on 29^th December that year – yes, your calculations are right, 3 months after.

Over 3 decades later, Lady T and Afro guy are still happily married with yours truly and the rest of the Charlies Angels to show for it. And that is the end of my story.

Happy Anniversary to my parents!!!

*******

Happy holidays to you all, thanks for sharing my thoughts through the year. Hope you all found your points of elevation during the year? If you didn’t, not to worry, delay is not denial, those goals can still be achieved, only if you do not give up.

Here’s to a more rewarding 2012.

Cheers!

Do not allow HORO to SCOPE you!

Have you noticed the new addiction in cyberspace? It’s the horoscope!  Years ago, you could have bet people just read those things in the Vanguard, Daily Times, Concord (what happened to these papers BTW? Gist for another day) laughed at them and moved on!

It’s quite different these days, not a few people now make it a/an daily hourly ritual to find out what the sun/moon is saying about their lives! Correct me if I’m wrong but since when did we become planet watchers, psychics and astrologers?

Before you argue about how right or wrong the predictions are, have you looked around  long enough to find out that as different as our DNAs are there are behavioural similarities we exhibit as we cohabit together either as family members, friends or even colleagues?

Similarities in our morals/belief systems; cutting across tribes and religions? Certain things happen based on pure coincidence. If I detest boastful people and you do too, it’s probably because we were brought up to understand the benefits of humility, why then would you sing praises to the astrologer who says it’s because you’re a Gemini or an Aquarius? For some of you who took psychology classes or even those who read Tim LaHaye’s ‘Why you act the way you do’ didn’t you deduce that the temperaments have features that cut across one another? Hence, the fact that you’re Sanguine doesn’t make you less of an ambitious person! Aren’t those temperaments actually developed through a combination of family background, upbringing, education, exposure etc? Why then do some people look to the moon and stars for instructions on how to live?





Young lady, that guy’s got a bright future not to talk of being TDH + more; why wouldn’t you date him? Ohhhhhh, Cancer moon opposes Pluto hence your Aries body can’t mix with a Pisces loving? #EpicFail! When your younger sister’s last child starts calling you grandma, the mist would clear from your glasses eye!

Let’s not get carried away by the tides of foolishness, if you must read those things, do, for the fun of it, don’t let them dictate what you can achieve or who you are; afterall you and I can cook up stories inspired by the many Hollywood movies we’ve seen. Live, don’t just exist and stop allowing ‘horo’ to ‘scope’ you (if you know what I mean)!

Finally, Librans like to make money, fall in love and live happily ever after! *yinmu* who doesn’t?!

*images: http://www.corbisimages.com/

It's a Double!!!

*Now singing*

If you were born in October, stand up! Stand up!!

If you were born in October, stand up! And dance!!

(Chopping mouth) a – reeaaal reeaaal roses God bless you!!!

Wow... so I wanted to start this post with a catchy/inspirational line but there’s too much chicken in my system... yes, I’ve been trying to eat all day but since I inhaled too much of the aroma, the only appetite I have left is for chicken.

By now, I’m sure you can guess today is my birthday!

Huh? You didn’t know? Well too bad.

Now that you do, wotchu gonna do abourrit?

Gosh... I’m high on sugar!!!

Let’s go down Wisteria lane memory lane, shall we?

A year ago, I was X years old, now I’m X + 1 = X + 365days years old. Before you grab a calculator please finish the post!

*sips tonic water*

Ok, so this very day last year, I published my first post! It’s my BLOGVERSARY!!! So yeah, it’s double celebration. That day, I fell off the stairs too *sigh* but it’s all good, I didn’t break a leg, only a sole!

Like yesterday, I remember inviting what turned out to be you all to come feel my pulse. I wasn’t sure I was going to be getting comments, but it didn’t matter! For many months prior to that, I had followed Q Money and LG as they took us through marriage and everyday life respectively. Their blogs were my go-to place when work became boring or traffic too horrible!

Imagine the excitement when LG showed up to (in her words) ‘disvirgin the blog’, closely followed by Myne and from then on, the comments just kept coming, and so did the followers.

I’ve been here long enough to see people fall in love, accept proposals, plan weddings, get married, make babies, birth ideas, leave without contact details or saying goodbye yet, most of us are still keeping on. Between the sleepless nights in school, horrible bosses at work, horrific traffic and political hullabaloo, we all have kept each other sane. Thank you all for the love.

I know there are many more beautiful days ahead, I’m grateful for the inspiration for the 50 posts in this first year of the journey, my 72 known followers, the unknown passersby and anonymous audience. Thank you all for the e-mails, recommendations and criticisms.

THANK YOU

LG, Myne Whitman, Roc Naija, Seshe James, Roc, Afrigenic, OmoTee, Fluffycutething, Ibhade,  Naijamum in London, Miss A, Blessing, Neefemi, T.Notes, Anonymous, Q Money, Af, Thediaryofanotmadblackwoman, Gbemisoke, Lara, Doll, M1ke, Uzezi, Miss Fab, Seye, Os, Anonymous (Daniel),Who am I, Jaycee, Prism, 2cute4u, Tega, Iani, Le Dynamique Professeur, Mbabazi, Shaaka, Abigail NY, RemiRoy, Ms Yellow Sisi Unspoken, H, Mrs O, EDJ, Forbidn2us,Omoba – Adeteju, Taurus scholar, Rita, Omoregee, Chichi, Adiya, Chizy K, Anoda Phase, RemiRoy, Naijalines, Ibifiri, A-9ja-great, HoneyDame,Os, 9jaFoodie, Daughter of Her King, Natural Nigerian, Sisi Yemmie, Didi, Sosexy, Blogoratti, MaidofHeart, Fellow Writer, @ilola, Mimi B, Ayabaodusote, Mena Ukosoisready, Noah’s Crew, aeWHYoo: Fellow Writer, Amb. Caleb, Ginger, Ms Luffa, Giagerry, Kitkat, Emeka Amakeze, Ms JB, Gretel, BSNC, Dosh, Laurenta, Breeze, LOL, Love.Live.Learn, Enybees-hub, Dayor, Dee, Deolascope, Mikki, LadyNgo, Bisi, Olabisi, Toinlicious, Angels beauty,Naija4life, Afronuts, Luciano, JustDoyin, O25,  Single Nigerian, Mstizzle, Qhule,Stelzz,Che, Rethots, Aloted, Ms Nana, Michael Onobote, Rhapsody B...

Baton for a New Race

ATTENTION!                               ATTENTION!!                              ATTENTION!!!

Please poke all those who went to bed singing Green Day's hit... wake them up, September has ended!


In case you're wondering; while you slept, we cried, played, sowed, talked, loved and hoped a little more.


Its October 1, the first day of the rest of our lives, a day we celebrate the beginning of the next 50 years as a nation. 50 years that once again present the options to either push for greatness or turn up the volume on complaint speakers!


As we begin the last lap in 2011, we remember our tears - over the loss of dear ones, over unfulfilled dreams, over the failures of a potentially great nation, over the many stumbling blocks we face on the pathway to prosperity.


We shed tears because our hearts feel pain but I invite you to come with me into the rain, let it wash away your grief, depression and disappointments. Let it wash away every cloud hindering you from seeing the way forward. Let it not just be rain, let it be SHOWERS OF BLESSINGS!

·         Pray with faith that victory is near.

·         Enjoy the gifts in your possession (life and loved ones).

·         Activate the CAN - DO spirit.

·         Cultivate the habit of praise.

·         Encourage others by doing the right thing first.

Be at PEACE with yourself, that's the only way you can help the nation pursue peace.


92 more days to the New Year. It’s enough time to get a new job, make a major breakthrough in your business, conceive an award winning idea, sow a seed of kindness, seek for forgiveness from the one(s) you've hurt, forgive the one(s) who've hurt you, fall in love, propose/accept a proposal to/from the one you love.


POSSIBILITIES... Endless possibilities abound. Tap into it for a brighter, better and befitting future or wait on the side line, murmuring and complaining of the things that have gone wrong. It’s your CHOICE, the FUTURE begins now.


Receive the baton of a new day, a new grace, a new path; take off into EXCELLENCE.


Happy Independence Day Nigeria (ns)!!!

 

Expatriate in the Building

I really do not know what the situation is like in other parts of the world but I have evaluated quite a few businesses and can conclude that our customer care/service delivery in this part of the planet is distasteful. From the roadside hawkers to our telecoms service providers, the banks, the hospitals and unfortunately even in the hospitality business.

The (mostly) women who handle this positions surprisingly share the same characteristics – ill tempered, uncouth and impatient! Only a few of them deliver impressive service that make you want to get familiar with them. Majority simply treat you like they are doing you a huge favour by responding to your enquiries/complaints.

I got one of such treatments recently at an industry conference. Add the above traits to male chauvinist behaviour and you’ll have the description of the protocol officer!

BTW, if you (or anyone you know) work for that airline that offers cheap rates for domestic flights booked in advance online, kindly tell the management team that the services are crap. The only reason we still patronise you is because we are Ijebus like to support the proudly Nigerian initiative. Soon, we may get tired of your cancellations, delays and saucy helpdesk operators and embrace Virginity!

I arrived early to get my accreditation done, I had all the documents as stated on the invite but for some reason, Mr Protocol Officer couldn’t find my name on the list! I wouldn’t have been angry if he had offered to do a thorough check and rectify the error, but instead he concluded I was impersonating! What rubbish!

I had never met the man before yet he believed I was trying to impersonate someone! So I’m subjected to series of ‘irrelevant’ questions... ‘What is your name? Middle name? Spell your surname? Who registered you for this conference? May I point out that at this point he was holding on to all my documents, driver’s license inclusive; guess he was trying to figure out I was really trying to use usurp someone’s slot!

Tired of standing and stretching over the counter, I sat and began fiddling with twitter, only to be jolted back to reality about an hour later! Mr Protocol Officer announced he’ll be closing in about 45minutes but still couldn’t find my name.

‘So what do you suggest?’ I asked

‘Madam, I’ve tried my best, you didn’t register, what do you want me to do about it’, he said, attracting enough attention and scattering my documents all over the.

At this point, I’m thinking, should I ask to see a superior officer or make a call to the help line on the acknowledgement mail; before I could decide, an elderly woman intervened, speaking in Yoruba, she reprimanded him for making no efforts to get me accredited to which he responded also in Yoruba: don’t mind all these small small girls, I know the type of people that come to this conference, they are top people (hiss).

You can only imagine how I felt, having someone say such about you in a language you understand! I totally ignored, leaving the elderly woman to deal with him. Minutes later his supervisor made an appearance. Nice lady I must say.

Within minutes she searched through all the lists and there it was. Apparently, they had 2 lists; one for participants from different organisations within the country and the other for Expatriates (prospective investors).

Now, the truth is, my name doesn’t give an insight into what tribe I belong, infact, it appears entirely foreign; but that’s no excuse. That I was registered in their books as one of the expatriates is a sign of inefficiency; my forms clearly state my nationality.

Finally, my pass was handed over but I wasn’t ready to leave just yet. I needed to have the last laugh so I turned to the supervisor and told her how she needed to have her staff trained. I told her they needed to know that not every young woman is sleeping her way to the top. A few of us are working hard and getting recognised for our efforts, bla bla bla... and for maximum effects, I said it all in Yoruba; imagine the look on Mr Protocol Officer’s face, dang! All he did was stare.

Today, I cried...

Today, I cried. No, I wasn’t flogged but I cried. I cried for the many times I had encountered near deaths, illnesses and other unpleasant situations and through it all God brought me out unscarred. I cried because I realise how ungrateful we all are sometimes. Because we complain about the lack of mundane things and fail to show appreciation for the essentials handed to us on a platter of gold.

I think about all those mornings I snooze for an extra 10minutes a total of 3 times before I finally get out of bed thereby saying so short a prayer I cannot remember once I jump into the bath!

I think about the many times I witnessed accidents on 3^rd mainland bridge and many of the other death traps we refer to as highways. I remember the journeys I have made within and outside the city, times my flight experienced turbulence and through it all I am still here.

The last 4 weeks have been really eventful for me. I have been happy, sad and indifferent; but isn’t that what life’s about. An acquaintance from my undergrad days passed away a day before she was to resume at an oil company in Lekki; she had been job hunting since 2008.

Sadly, last week we had met and spoken briefly at the airport in Abuja. Her mum found my card in her purse and called to inquire if she owed me as the family wanted to settle all her debts before the burial.

I’m just reading the story of Olajuwura Amoo-Onidundu and that’s what made me cry. Last month I had some medical issues to deal with but I was strong enough to get into an argument with the nurse. She had cut open the syringe before my entry into the injection room so I insisted a new one be used. When the matron intervened she said, ‘it would amount to waste of resources’, I then retorted with an indifferent look that if my HMO plan can’t cover the cost of an extra syringe then I’ll pay cash!

Since the introduction of HMOs, healthcare delivery seems to have nosedived even at the so called ‘good private hospitals’. A colleague was recently asked if he wanted silver, gold or platinum treatment after being diagnosed of malaria at the hospital. Apparently, the class of treatment he chooses would determine the type of drugs to be prescribed, recovery timeline and ultimately the bill!

 I won’t even mention government hospitals where you have to run around to buy everything from gloves to syringe and injection, drip etc; God help you if you’re in labour and there’s no family member in sight; well, you can tip a student doctor to help you. I know this from a friend’s labour experience at LASUTH/Ayinke Hospital.

All in all, I believe we, as a people, as a nation still have a chance to get better. To correct the anomalies, seize the future and make it truly ours. You and I can start by being truthful and faithful in all our dealings.

Have a fabulous weekend!

N.B

The original post for today EXPATRIATE IN THE BUILDING would be up next week!

Honestly... would you?

I was helping my cousin address his wedding invites when I saw Mr & Mrs Cobhams Asuquo, instantly I bombarded him with questions of how they met, if I could come along to deliver the card etc. Unfortunately, he didn’t let me but explained to me that Mrs Asuquo used to be a colleague; apparently she resigned a while ago, I’m not sure if it’s for private business or for another job but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her.

I wonder how much of a brave woman she must be, I imagined she must really love him to look past the disability and sign the lifelong contract. Asides from Ojuola (Cobham’s wife), there are a few other people known to have braved the odds. I have raised this issue among friends and while quite a few beat their chest to being able to go that lane, I’m still not sure I can.

It is not about being selfish or insensitive but honestly, it’s not as easy as it seems. If you’ve ever been a caregiver to a sick relative then you know a bit of what I’m talking about. Often times you end up ill from the stress of cleaning and caring for them.

For someone who likes to internalize issues and be realistic about things (I’m not against optimism oh!) I wonder if I can cope. There are those moments you want to act like a child around your partner, just milk a situation (e.g. pregnancy) and demand some extra TLC, there’s when you want to play hide and seek around the house, or on the beach, there are certain times you expect him to scoop you off the floor into his arms... wouldn’t these expectations be selfish if he was in a wheelchair?

How easy would it be to have to run home from work to make the meal and clean up, help with the kids’ school work all alone, everyday without the help of wifey who is physically challenged? Can you honestly say frustration wouldn’t set in at some point? Especially when there are those low moments at work?

I know there are 2 different scenarios here; first is when the condition is known from the get go. Secondly is if it occurs after the relationship had begun.

In the first case, you must have weighed the conditions well, separation/divorce is no option here; at least you were fully aware of the peculiarities before signing the dotted lines. In the African setting, family members may object to the union at first; if you eventually convince them, the burden becomes yours except off course your family understands.

Case 2 buttresses why everyone must marry someone they truly love. Sudden disability affects quite a number of things in the family – sex, career, finances, role-play and sometimes communication. I imagine that sudden disability in a partner will rock a relationship leaving the chance of its survival to the quality of its foundation. It would take sincere love and God’s matchless grace to avert a separation or even resentment.

I once read the story of a guy who attributed his success in life to his ex-girlfriend’s decision to leave him. They had been dating for about 5 years at the time but he never really showed any commitments to her, unfortunately he was involved in an accident that confined him to a wheelchair. He recounted that the lady was patient enough to nurse him out of the hospital and then left him thereafter stating she couldn’t deal with his lack of passion for anything.

Before you condemn her as heartless; imagine yourself in her shoes. Through the 5 years, she probably gave him all the signs that she was ready to be proposed to; I assume he kept promising without any concrete plan. She must have thought: if a guy is never serious with anything what are the chances he’ll not be completely helpless and slothful as a disable? In the end, she figured marrying him would be mortgaging her future hence she left and moved on. Thankfully, he learnt from the experience and has now made something of his life; but do these stories always turn out this way?

 I guess this is why everyone must ask themselves if they can live with ‘the one’ when the worse befalls him/her, we must be sure we understand the clause ‘through good and bad times, in sickness and in health’. Most likely, a partner who’s always pessimistic about every little cloud would swing into full scale depression when it rains and probably log out on life if there’s a flood.

The question therefore is; would you marry a guy/girl with disabilities? Are there perhaps some forms of disabilities you can deal with and others you can’t?

15 Minutes on the Toilet seat

Dear God,

I trust and believe in you. The scientists have said all sorts of rubbish about you but that’s their problem. It’s funny how they can never agree on something real; even when one of them got a ‘revelation’ to buttress YOUR existence, they still didn’t believe, well a lot of them are high on substances so *shrug*

I had fun in June but right now I’m kinda broke and that’s because the bosses have travelled again without handing over our pay check. The thing is, there was fathers’ day celebration and then you put my sisters’ birthdays 11days apart and so I spent a little more than I should have. Could you please touch their hearts and make them do the right thing? Thank you.

Heavenly father, I’m grateful for all you’ve done for me lately, the tears and disappointment of February has since given way to this new hope I have. I’m happier now, not because I have all I want but because you’ve shown me that you’re working on my case.

I’m happy because now I have really let go of the pains caused me by my ex and the Human Resources Manager.  I’m grateful for the lessons I learnt, who would have thought I would be helping the HRM with her school work? I knew I had forgiven her, I guess the forgetting part is now accomplished. I wish you could help me to reach out to her a little more, to teach her how to be kind to others, to make her understand that she doesn’t have to be mean, inconsiderate and miserable just because she’s single and 30+.

I need you now more than ever before, first to help unlock my heart because I know you have the Master key. After the last experience, I locked it up and put the key away, now I can’t find it because I’ve rearranged so much and the only thing I see is work, movies, food, health and books.

Secondly, I know I once said I was tired of chasing my dreams and that I wanted them to just tell me where they were heading so we could meet up there. Well, I apologise because that came out wrong, what I wanted to say was I am sure you’re with me on the journey and that I know I won’t miss the path once I keep following your lead. Please help me not to stray.

Lastly, I need to see some signs, ones that won’t be confusing, so I can know for sure if this new friendship is what I think it is. If it isn’t, please help me to pick the vital lessons and focus on to what is important. I’m asking because he’s fast becoming a Weapon of Mass Distraction and I do not want to lose sleep over a flash in the pan.

Thank you for the grace and favour, I have to get back to work now, I will talk to you later.

Amen.

This was my posture while writing this post.