Tuesday, March 8, 2011

TDH plus more



Once upon a time, TDH was the added advantage a guy needed to possess for him to be considered good enough to meet your ‘girlfriends’. That way you could have them roll their eyes, Hi5 you and go green with envy; even if in the end he’ll never meet the parents. Every girl wanted to arrive at the class reunion and wedding with the finest bloke; it was a ‘rep’ (reputation) soaring ingredient!
Those days are long gone. In today’s world of Oprah Winfrey inspired independent women, the qualifications have changed. Tall, dark and Handsome (TDH) is no longer award winning. Brains, personality etc have been added to the requirement thus making it almost as complex as rocket science.  After listening to countless disheartening stories of relationships gone sour, a single lady cannot but do herself the favour of ‘shinning her eyes’ before falling for a brother; biological clock or not.
Over the years, my friends and I have repeatedly trashed the issue of ‘qualities/requirements’. As you may have imagined, some qualities are popular/common such that any guy who didn’t have them was immediately struck out of the list of ‘prospective’.
HEARTistic matters have over the years defied the rules of the unwritten books; countless times we’ve seen couples and wondered what the ‘catch’ was/is. I personally know ladies who swore they couldn’t/wouldn’t be found with a particular guy only for them to drool over marry same dude thereafter.
With couples like Seal and Heidi Klum we’ve learnt that love is blind, Dare and Deola Art-Alade show that age is just concatenation of numbers, if you’re still wondering if celebrity unions work then you have met neither Olu and Joke Jacobs nor Tunde and Wunmi Obe... okay, I’ve digressed enough!

The point I’m trying to make is that like our DNA shows, we’re different from one another, not just in character but also in our taste/preferences for a significant other.
I do not expect anyone to understand my taste in men and I do not try to do same, hence, when I’m up and about checking my ‘shopping list’ in comparison to what the said guy is bringing to the table, it’s just because in the long run when you all are done with the hi5, I’m the one who has to manage whatever excesses/imperfection he has. Yes, imperfections. Everyone has them, I do too and at the end of it all, our ability to deal with those issues determine the success of the relationship.
So, what ‘features’ do you look out for? Which ones are must haves? Which ones can be compromised upon? I’ve got my shopping list ready; you’ll read about it in the next post, meanwhile I’m waiting to hear from you.

22 comments:

The Corner Shop said...

I like this post. True talk. Choosing a partner is so complex and 'shine your eye' is good advice mehn.

I'm not too sure about my list oh, but i know even though he may not be TDH, he should still be good to look at abeg lol. He'll certainly be God-fearing, adventurous, funny, persistent, ambitious,... It's getting plenty oh lol!!

Adiya

kitkat said...

i'm not even going to lie.. looks is real important to me :p
TDH is what i go for..lol, others come second. c'mon, its the looks that'll attract me to the dude in the first place. xcept the guy has a very infectious personality.. looks is my numero uno :p

Naijamum said...

I have to say looks are (or were) important to me.
It's nice to have someone who is easy on the eye.
However, the most importnat qualities I think a man should have are being ambitious, confident and kind.

Chizy K said...

looks are important, but personality 4 me always come first

http://chizys-spyware.blogspot.com

Ibhade said...

Looks first...then xter later.. afterall eyes must first eat before mouth go taste abi? :)

seriously sha..after the eyes had seen & the 'food' [xter] tasted unpalatable, i simply 'throw it away!'

Blessing said...

Thank for keeping real!

The top characteristics on my list: A God-fearing man, purpose driven, outgoing, attractive, and romantic...

Some things that I can comprise on are: height (I love tall men tho!) and prob the romance part...

RemiRoy said...

I no go lie o, I'm up for the looks, carriage and suave demeanor but i'm all grown now! lol

The important thing for me is to have a guy who loves God and me(in that order) willing to make things work, is ambitious and a go getter.('cos i cant stick slow dudes!)
every other thing we can work around.
I think!

Nice post girl. I almost lost your blog :(
Thanks for coming around.

www.royremi.blogspot.com

Lara said...

Looks tops the list, no argument about that one.
he has got to be God-fearing, I don't mean all these religious morons walking around the face of earth.
He must be adventurous and be ready to accept the burden that is me.

Gbemisoke said...

The upside to having a goodlooking guy is you can't stay mad at him for long. Downside is they tend to be self-absorbed :o)
I had a list and even though being good looking was on it, It ranked way below other things like sharing my faith, treating his mum and other women with respect, having a healthy self image and having clearly defined life goals to name a few.

I think a woman should ask herself what she's bringing to the table. Imagine you're a guy and you're making your own list. Make that list and compare yourself to that list. Not the 'potential' you oh, the current you and then ask yourself if you would choose you if you were you. I did this many years ago and was surprised at the results. I made personal changes and tweaked my own shopping list, adjusting some of my unrealistic expectations and I'm happy to report that I didn't need to settle for less :o)

I'm looking forward to your next post oh!

www.gbemisoke.blogspot.com

Naijalines said...

'Must have' lists are interesting. The ironic part though is that one could never fully guess what one would end up compromising for - cos every relationship comes with its own challenges - and while we all have that list in our heads, the real compromising starts after marriage.

...My two pennies:)

Tamunoibifiri Mobolaji-Kamson said...

hmmm at first it used to be looks until the bobo with good looks showed me the i know i am fine attitude, then i said OMO i have to run... but much as i still went for looks though for the say my man is TDH, i went for personality first and it paid off at the end. www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

Tamunoibifiri Mobolaji-Kamson said...

hmmm at first it used to be looks until the bobo with good looks showed me the i know i am fine attitude, then i said OMO i have to run... but much as i still went for looks though for the say my man is TDH, i went for personality first and it paid off at the end. www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

P.E.T. Projects said...

I see we all like good looks, i do too. He must be eye-catching before i get interested in listening to him but beyond that there's more...

The Corner Shop said...

Hi hon. I just gave you an award. Go to my blog to claim it xoxo

Adiya
http://thecornershopng.blogspot.com

Myne Whitman said...

I've been looking forward to your list since, lol...

P.E.T. Projects said...

thanks Adiya... Im checking it out ASAP

Myne, the list is cooking, i'll serve it soon. Thanks

Fluffycutething said...

waiting for that list oh.....

A-9ja-Great said...

Just gave you an award.Go grab it! a9jagreat.blogspot.com

omoba-adeteju! said...

Nice one dear!!!
Looks are important but "God fearing" highly important!!!
I remember the days of "TDH"...

PS:i have tagged you in the one lovely blog award becos i think ur blog rocks!
check out the details at my end-http://omobaadeteju-ajimotokan.blogspot.com/
Regards!!!

RemiRoy said...

Hey dear,
Do check out and download my e-book 'From the Sidelines'
Details on my blog.
www.royremi.blogspot.com
Cheers!

HoneyDame said...

MAdam where are you o? Update na!

Daughter of Her King said...

i agree with gbemisoke... be ready to deliver if u are digging up a lists...

As for me, time will tell..