Friday, October 29, 2010

Chronic Lounging

Hi Blogsville,
I’m so happy it’s Friday; the week didn’t seem to move fast enough. I’m so happy that I won’t be waking up at 4:45am tomorrow, no deadlines to meet, no crazy traffic, no bus conductor noise, and then no heels. I really don’t understand why women wear heels, I’m sure its Marilyn Munroe’s fault but I love my heels oh... they make me walk smarter so I guess I can bear the discomfort it brings every now and then.
Anyway, this week was boring at work. My routine included, reading blogs, twitting, gisting with my colleague PEJ about marriage, checking my official mails and replying if the need arises and then reading blogs again, again and again.
TGIF, I planned I was going to stay home and rest tomorrow just as I do on sanitation Saturdays (every last Saturday of the month), but I think that’s going to change since environmental sanitation has been cancelled. Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola (Lagos State) says it’s to allow students writing the *NECO exam reach their centres in good time. Good luck to everyone in that category.
Next month will also be sanitation free (I can’t remember the reason), I’m looking forward to the public holidays sef, at least, there’ll be 2-day Sallah holiday either on 18th and 19th or 19th and 22nd. **President GEJ may send us home for 2days to register with ***INEC or maybe not. I heard he’s a workaholic who doesn’t like holidays. No wonder we didn’t get any during the independence celebration.
My boss has left the office, she said, ‘see you on Monday’ that means more blogging for me. She’s meeting ‘the girls’ for lunch at Terra Culture (things bigz girls do during office hours).
BTW, ‘the girls’ are women in their 40s, each with at least one child in Uni.
May you all be good looking, fulfilled and successful enough to be ‘the girls’ at quarter to 50years.
I pray that Manchester United beats Tottenham tomorrow, and that all the bloggers I have heard/read about who are on French leave would resume, at their duty post and that Qmoney and all other expectant bloggers would have a safe delivery.
Have a lovely weekend!

*NECO = National Examination Council.
**President GEJ =  President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan.
***INEC = Independent National Electoral Commission.
The Insert image option finally worked today, I hope I can always find good images to make my blog a little more friendly.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Weddings Everywhere II

I’ve been thinking about weddings, love, relationships and everything related lately, don’t blame me, I think it’s just because most of my friends are getting married.
In July, my friend from uni got married reducing the number of single ladies from our study group to 3. Earlier this month, a friend from primary school tied the knot, next was my cousin and then another cousin is due in November.
Asides from the accumulating aso - ebi and bridal train gowns, my single status keeps popping up especially because people have made me their business. At such parties you hear things like, ‘so when will yours be’, ‘ire na akari (the joy will go round)’.
Aunties, uncles and friends bring it up every now and then. They expect that ‘he’ will accompany you or at least drop you off at every event. My parents are not relenting either, while my dad drops subtle hints, mum uses every avenue as a point of reminder. For instance, I might buy her something or credit her account, instead of a simple thank you, she’ll just launch into prayer mode, something like this:
Oko ti e lo ma fe (you’ll marry your own husband)
Oko to maa ke e, to maa ge e (a husband that’ll cherish you, that’ll pamper you)
Ooni sile wo (you won’t marry into the wrong family)
I don’t mind the prayers; it’s the sermons that get to me. Especially when she tells me to open my eyes and be receptive.
Lately, it seems I’ve been meeting the wrong kind of guys – married, engaged or unserious. I’m not willing to start doing all the things those silly books recommend, I think it’s just too much stress so I’ve resolved to prayers, faith and hope.
Like I told an ex recently, you were good enough for the role once, the standards are not too high so no need lowering them. The good thing is, I’ve consciously studied myself and I know what I’m looking for so I guess all that’s left is to look out for them in the people I meet, *chikena!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Weddings Everywhere

Hi Bloggers,
Hope you all are enjoying the week? 

After months of planning and plenty of spending, my cousin tied the nuptial knot on Saturday. I had applied for one day casual leave since two weeks ago and it was only granted on Thursday, so as early as 5.45am on Friday, I headed out of Lagos.

I have been travelling fortnightly since June to help with the planning. We are first cousins, she being the last in her family and I being the closest companion so it was essential for me to arrive early. Planning a wedding isn’t easy oh... no wonder it’s a full time occupation for many.

We made several phone calls trying to tidy up loose ends, headed out to the tailor where we dropped off the Maid of Honour (MoH) who needed to have her gown adjusted (I’m still wondering why we can get ready made clothes that fit off the rack in stores but tailors who take measurements and design from scratch never get it together at once). At about 2.30 we began the drive across town to NYSC office where the bride needed to sign some papers so as to secure her allowance for the month. The drive took about 35minutes only for my dear cousin to remember on arrival that she had left the file containing the documents needed at home - did I tell you that neither of us had had anything to eat all day?

So we drove back home, pick the document and headed back, it was just a miracle that the NYSC official were still signing when we returned at 4:30pm (civil servants close at 4pm and even earlier on Fridays).

NYSC issues sorted out, we headed back to the tailor to get the MoH and then it happened! The plan was that as soon as we arrived at the tailor’s, my cousin would dash out to buy us something from the eatery nearby while I go get the MoH. Just as we packed, she jumped down and started running off while I was locking up... and then I saw it.


Yeeepaaripaaaaaaa! How come? I swung into damage control mode. We got back to the tailor’s shop and fixed the damage (I carry spare pads in my bag whether I need it or not). Our bride claimed she wasn’t due until Monday, how can the red letter just deliver on Friday? Next we had to look for maternity pads at least they are super absorbents and would last longer than the usual sanitary pads. It was almost 7pm when we arrived home.

The other bridesmaids were getting their nails done (we planned to wear pink nail coats), we were still awaiting for 3 of the groomsmen who were coming in from Lagos. Shortly afterwards, they arrived and it was time to rehearse our dance. The bride wanted us to dance to Kokoroko by Kefee ft Timaya, the choreographer was the bomb, I loved the routine.

Dance practice over, we sang, prayed and bade the groomsmen goodnight... but the night wasn’t over just yet.... ladies gist continued till about 2am. The wedding turned out successful, everything was on point, except that our groom’s earlier bragging was not matched by his dance.

On the eve of the wedding, one of the groomsmen had been trying to chat me up, but I was too busy catering to the bride’s many needs. He wangled his way to my side in church, but again I was too busy dancing, finally as we cleaned up after the reception, he offered to ‘help’ me.

He sounded nice and witty, a practicing doctor (that would score him additional points with my dad). I really don’t like wedding hook ups but as I’m beginning to think seriously about this relationship thing, maybe I shouldn’t shut out any options, abi?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Forever Young!

Last week was my birthday and because it was a Friday, everyone thought I must have made huge plans... they were soooo wrong!
A few minutes before midnight I drifted asleep, I was so tired, my joints ached all over. At exactly 00:00am, I heard Jay Z singing to me, that was to be the first of many other calls before dawn... gosh! Thanks to all the callers, but next time please let me sleep a little. Well, I guess they were just paying me in my own coin.
Fast forward, 8:15am, I arrive at the office and the following takes place
Miss. HR: (lets out a shout...) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Oh, you’re looking really good today
Me: Thank you. (but in my mind i’m thinking - Well, what do you expect and why are you trying to be nice, it doesn’t fit you.... mschew! )
The happy birthdays keep coming in from my colleagues with no one offering anything (can you imagine), except for PEJ. She’s such a sweet heart and we just naturally gel like bread and butter.
9am, my phone rings and its ROE again (he was the first caller at midnight). He wants to know if i’ll do lunch with him. I say a few em em em and finally agree. ROE and I have been friends since secondary, our story has a few twists and turns but we still manage to have civil conversations.
I tried so hard to work but the phone calls, SMSs twitter/facebook messages wouldn’t let me. At some point I had about 16 friends trying to chat with me on yahoo (I thought most offices put a ban on social networking sites during office hours... ahhhh, blackberry to the rescue!). As I sat at my desk reading KAY9’s corner and LMAOing at LG’s posts, I got a call from frontdesk office, ‘PET, you have a visitor’, before I could ask any question, she hung up (our frontdesk officer can be a little uncultured sometimes but I let it go because she’s a married woman).
Down the stairs and into the lobby.... there they were... 2 cakes – one from ATA my bff from Uni and the other from Anonymous. So i’m standing there, looking at the cakes, surprised at ATA’s gesture (he doesn’t have a job yet and has been complaining about being broke for a while) and wondering who Anonymous can be. I should have asked my friend Mary but she resigned from cakes and creams last month.
By noon my colleagues had demolished the cake from ATA, I wouldn’t let anyone touch the other – ‘what if it was delivered to me in error’, I thought. Just then, my phone rang yet again and anonymous was revealed – ESO – what was he thinking sending me a cake? (gist on ESO soon)
The lunch date with ROE never happened, his boss made him attend an impromptu meeting. Poor guy... as for me, I couldn’t be bothered.
Time was passing quickly and everything seemed perfect, until.... I fell.
Yes oh... I was heading to PEJ’s office to gist when I slipped on the stairs and fell. I was just so lucky I didn’t *‘wounjur’. Ah... I stood up sharply (before anyone saw me) made my way back to my seat.
5.30pm couldn’t have come early enough. I got a friend to take me home (with the other cake) but we ended up at Domino, Sabo – Yaba where 6 other friends were waiting. My ribs almost fell out from laughing out at their jokes.
10.15pm – I’m home and by 11.45pm, I hit my bed bringing my most uneventful birthday ever to an end. Truth is, it wasn’t my fault... blame it on the collabo of malaria and flu. Notwithstanding, I’m glad to be alive and grateful for all the love shown me.

*Wounjur (pidgin) = wound + injure

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Introducing P.E.T.

Ehen, after my first and second posts, I felt like an uncultured child. You know that feeling you get when you start a debate without saying Good day panel of judges, accurate time keeper, bla bla bla. The reason was because I started out on a rather boring note. I’m a new blogger and of all the things that got me excited I had to pick the story of the Corrupt elder and the MTN advert to bore you all. Anyway, I’m sorry. Today, I’ll be introducing me.
Have you ever met someone and you just think they must be very religious, over studious, brave/daring but socially outgoing? Well, that’s what you’ll think when you meet me, but then, I know different.
8 of every 10 people I meet have a misconception about who I am. Whether it is positive or negative, I can’t be bothered! So who am I?
I am a... on second thought I won’t tell you anything, if I do, it will take the fun away so keep reading and gradually you will find pieces of the jigsaw which you can then put together.
Ok, sneak peak... i’m single and fun loving with a borderless imagination!
I can’t say I know all about me... I discover new things everyday but as sure as the existence of heaven is the fact that I am continually evolving but the underlying principles remain the same! (Ok, I stole that from an old love... details about that in subsequent quotes)

Monday, October 18, 2010


Over the years, there has been quite a few unforgettable adverts on TV. From inspirational to creative, hilarious and sometimes outrightly stupid, we’ve seen them all. In recent times, some companies have consciously invested in bringing creativity back to TV adverts. One that easily comes to mind is MTN the telecommunication giant. 
MTN literally raised the stacks with their adverts thus entertaining us while simultaneously selling their services. I remember ‘Mama na boy’ which I later heard was yanked off because some women empowerment groups thought it was discriminatory against the girl-child, well, like I told a friend, they should have changed it to ‘Mama na Twins”.
Then there was ‘Princess, I need you to read me my speech’, and then came ‘Merry Christmas Uncle John’. I also remember ‘Don’t step on my toes this time’ (the one in which Nollywood actor Femi Branch was having an imaginary dance with his babe who was in another location). Or who would forget ‘Step out to your balcony, I have something for you’. Okay, i’ve digressed enough.
The advert for MTN’s e-presence is why I am blogging today. A group of executives are at a board meeting, trying to decide the best way of getting their partners to town at the shortest possible time. They seem to all have ideas but their suggestions are either not cost effective or time conscious. In the end, a guy gives them the perfect solution – MTN Video Conference Call via e - presence. Now what’s the point you may ask?
Well, I think that company is like Nigeria in many ways. Most of the members on the Board are clueless as to how to attain defined goals, just as Nigerian leaders have no idea of how to lead us out of the wilderness.
Just as in many companies, Directors are usually the eldest in the organization, this is so that their wealth of experience can come to bear, unfortunately in the case of Nigeria, the grandmas/grandpas in powers have failed to show any intelligence. All we hear about are missing treasury funds, misappropriated allocations and what not!
In the MTN advert, the solution came from the guy who appears to be the youngest in the room, I hope someone is watching and learning. The youths should be given the chance to have a say, at least it’s their future that is at stack. Imagine IBB saying there’s nothing we can offer, when we all know that corruption as we now know it was legalised during his regime.
I’m disgusted when people talk about the good old days because honestly, I don’t remember those days. But then I take solace in knowing that one’s future is what you make of it!

Have a nice day bloggers.


The round leather game popularly called football is one I love with a passion. My fraternity with it started a long time ago while I was in primary school, I remember waking up at 2am to watch the USA ’94 matches. My entire household knows I shutdown to all chores to watch Premiership matches on weekends. In the office, I automatically become one of the boys as we dissect and analyse every second of UEFA champions league matches on Wednesday and Thursday mornings, infact, I’m not sure I can date a guy who doesn’t watch/love the game!
In as much as our local league is painful to watch, I try to show a little solidarity every now and then. I have watched Nigerian matches for as long as I can remember and I can’t stop wondering why we never seem to get it right after all these years. The problem with our football is multidimensional, it is either our players are too proud or unperturbed to dedicate their God-given talent to a patriotic cause or the coaching crew are clueless as to what the winning formula should be. At other times, the NFA (now NFF) are too busy embezzling funds earmarked for the development of the game.
So much so that the corrupt practices at the ‘glass house’ recently earned us a ban by the world governing body FIFA. As if that wasn’t enough, our ‘most outstanding’ representative on the world stage flagrantly displayed the level of his moral decadence for all to see.
Over the weekend, FIFA president Sepp Blatter confirmed that Dr. Amos Adamu (FIFA’s executive committee member from Nigeria) and Tahitian Temarii (a member from the Oceania) had both offered/accepted to sell the vote when approached by reporters posing as lobbyists for an American consortium. This ‘transaction’ would have made Dr Adamu £500,000 richer. He was caught on tape and hence cannot deny being framed.
As I think about it, I can’t help but wonder
·         Would this man ever be able to face the public with the same air of importance?
Why not, this is probably not his first time, even if he’s found guilty, he’ll be suspended and reinstated to continue from where he stopped after a few months. Now why can’t he be completed dismissed with a punishment like a life time ban from all sporting activities?

·         How would his children feel especially when they have to face their friends?
They have probably been tutored to deny every bit of it as allegations or better still, since their category of friends are children of the high and mighty, a few of them have been there before so the words of encouragement would be ‘don’t worry, Nigerians forget things easily, tell your dad to use part of the money in settling members of the disciplinary committee”.

There are many more questions but would we ever get answers? Would our dear country ever win the World cup?

Congratulations to Peter Osaze Odemwingie, he has been in top form for West Bromich Albion of England since the transfer at the beginning of the season. Also, thumbs up to Vincent Enyeama for his dedication to both Nigeria and Hapoel Tel Aviv of Isreal. I'm still wondering why none of these two made the list for African Player of the Year.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Birth of P.E.T. Projects

Wow... finally, I’m doing this!
The decision to blog did not come easy. I have always had love for literature, at some point I wanted to be a columnist, and then I wanted to write a book. However, these wishes never saw the light of day.
Being a columnist meant you had to have something to say every week – something thought provoking or educating or at least hilarious, else, your editor would gladly kick you out for lack of creativity.
As regards writing a book, my stories never seemed to have an end. After reading silhouettes, Danielle Steel and all the others all through the years, I kept on looking for more suspense to add. I guess the suspense gave the stories a hard time to breathe and they ended up with heart attack, needless to say they died prematurely!
It’s my birthday today and my gift to myself is the birth of P.E.T. Projects. I don’t attend A-list socialite events so don’t expect pictures from the red carpet; I’m not a fashionista so I can’t give you updates on the latest trends. However, I am human, and I have feelings. Feelings I am willing to share!