Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Mutual Friend Rescue Marriage

What’s the word for that situation in which you think you have everything figured out and can therefore relax, and then suddenly something comes up and it’s like the reset button is on permanently?! Yeah… if you know it, tell a sister because that’s where I am right now.

I thought I found stability at the end of May, I slept well in June and looked forward to balling in July, then the surprise landed and it’s been a roller coaster ride since then! Don’t go eeya, aww on me… I’m actually enjoying it all, I’m happy even though I see a lot of late nights and early mornings  down the road, it’s what I wanted (I think) and right now I’m not complaining.

Yes… I know those two paragraphs have told you nothing but relax, it will unfold soon enough. Meanwhile, every other thing is still the same, 3rd mainland bridge is undergoing repairs, I still endure traffic by making up imaginary conversations and scenarios (sometimes), I’m still single and you’re still visiting this url!

As regards my singlehood (bad grammar), someone told me recently that I may be getting too comfortable in that arena; you know, a state where you can afford most things yourself, and where asides God and your family, there’s no one else to be accountable to.
I’ve thought about it long enough to know it’s both true and false; I’m gradually achieving all I’ve dreamt about and unconsciously raising the bar on certain things, however, deep down there, I know I want to be swept off my feet, fall in love, get married and live happily thereafter.

On the other hand, there’s no rush to these things, I therefore wonder why some people are suddenly trying to be more catholic than the pope. In other news, being single is expensive… gist for another day!

Quick question…
How does a mutual friend rescue marriage work? I heard a discussion in which people admitted that they have an arrangement/agreement with a close friend of the opposite sex, under which if at a certain age they were both unmarried, they’ll upgrade their friendship by getting married to each other?

Whether you believe it or not, there are groups of people with this agreement, and although it’s not written (hence not legally binding), they both agreed on a particular age. E.g. Theresa and Thomas have been ‘best-friends-forever’ for awhile and for some reason haven’t had successful relationships with anyone, they would both agree that to save themselves, when they both clock 30 and 33 respectively, they’ll walk down the aisle!

Personally, I think it’s strange. While I wouldn’t knock anyone for decisions they make, I’m curious as to why they both won’t venture into a relationship now if they are that close, and only consider each other good enough as last resort? Isn’t that just a union of pity?

If you’ve got answers for me, or you have such agreement in place, please share.

Finally, if you have the time, check out Chinese freestyle by 2face on youtube or on (it’s the 3rd song from the bottom of the page), I really don’t understand what was going on there with the language but its 2face… enjoy!


mykey said...

It is indeed a union of pity and to add to that, a display of gross irresponsibility.

Toinlicious said...

I thought that only happened in movies a la "My Best Friend's Wedding" or more recently "Freinds With Kids"

I'd love to hear thougts on this one. *grabs seat*

Unveilinggold said...

Now this is weirdly interesting @ friends agreeing to marry..I guess they feel they have seen it all with each other what more can surprise them or perhaps what can they go through that they wont conquer.

I kinda like the idea but not as a last result thing just that you are marrying your bestfriend

Priscy said...

its kinda weird though, but thinking of it again...I think they will do fine together considering the fact that they've been friends for a while.

But on the other hand too, it would have been better if they learn to fall in love before taking it any further....being friends is different from being married! selah!

LadyNgo said...

That word you're searching for is "life"! lol.

As for the marriage business...well i guess they figure why ruin the friendship (potentially) if they don't have to. Essentially they are saying they are wiling to settle for each other. People settle and marry any old body just because they hit a certain age all the freakin time. At least in this arrangement you know ahead of time that you'll be settling for someone you like as a person *shrugs shoulders*

'Lara said...

Old friends settling for each other is nothing new but I guess we see it more in the movies.

As per singlehood, I feel we are rocking the same boat...It is well I will say but I sure as hell do not intend to lower my standards or stop living life waiting for mister right.

sugarspring said...

wow!!!>..i totally concur with Toin, as in twas like she read my mind when she mentioned friends with kids..cos thats what the movies do..concuring with Lara too
wow again..i dont think i can do that...its like settling for something you wouldnt go for..i know they're friends and dont you just have some guys in your life that they;d better stay friends...going further might not be the right thing

as for the reset button, do you think its some sort of wake up call, it happens sometimes i guess
as for the singlehood, well...who better to talk to about it but God. ppl and society will surely talk..but you know what you want, and you know what you need in your life, not just anybody and so, keep sailing till the master says its time
be blessed

Anonymous said...

First time of hearing such not in total support of it, but since both parties entered with their eyes OPEN, then it might work out, since none will expect so much from the other and they might grow to love each is like what our forefathers did and the arranged marriages in Indian... as long as there is mutual respect and no abuse of any kind.
Singlehood? Gal enjoy your life and continue to attain your goals to the fullest, when he comes along, fine, but if not, don't be bothered, listen, there is so much fun being 'free' now without accountable to anybody except GOD and your parents.

Luciano said...

i've only seen those in movies. i think its a very bad idea.......what happens when you finally meet someone you love after settling for your friend?

@ilola said...

I think you should learn how to start blogging in traffic, we definitely would see more of you on blogger if you do so, lol.

dayor said...

Arrangements like that exist for real? i'm not surprised though,welcome to life where anything is possible

Being single is expensive...Gist please. Lols

N.I.L (Naijamum in London) said...

The friend arrangement sounds a bit like a union borne out of pity

According to one of my friends.......this does happen and it is referred to as 'The desperate marrying The Needy' LOL

Che said...

It sounds strange. What if after they get married, either of them falls head over heels in love with someone else, what happens then.

HoneyDame said...

LMAO...oh how I have missed coming to this space!
I dont know how that mutual friend ish works but it sounds very feasible and even reasonable sef.

Biola Ojo said...

i wouldnt dare... if we've been friends for so long and there's no sexual tension btw us,being married to him would be like living with a flatmate and sex would pro'ly be boring or just outta duty. i know sex is not everything but it is a huge part of it.

Ginger said...

I can't say I get it...if you are such close friends why not just put the effort into making your friendship work and be done with it instead of this settling after fishing?
I luurve your positivity! Keep it coming!!

Toinlicious said...

*knock Knock* Anybody home?

Gbemisoke said...

Mutual kini?
Never heard of it before now. I like NMIL's "The desperate marrying the needy". If it works for them, I guess...

How are you?